A Sailor's Life

in life •  23 days ago

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A sailor's life. A sailor's life! A sailor's life, for me!

It was 4:10 AM. The good lady had woken me up and tagged me in to the great game that was Teething Baby.

I hadn't gone to sleep till one o'clock in the morning as I was fiddling about on my phone with an animation that I was doing. What seemed like moments later I heard her coo in my ear.

Daddy... Daddy...

I managed to crack a crusty eye open for a second then closed it again when the effort became too much. What time was it? Why was she waking me? Was it for a sexy party? Oh the conundrum. Should I go through the motions and allow myself to be used like a wet rag or just pretend to not have woken?

Before I could decide, she punched me on the shoulder.

Daddy!

Damn, this girl really wanted some hawt sauce.

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Galpharm, pruddy?

I mumbled, convinced I had said something meaningful.

The little boom has been up twice already and I know you have work in the morning but I can't take it. You will have to tag in.

I stared at her in confusion. Any thoughts of Little Red Riding Penis and the Big bad wolfy vagina evaporating swiftly out of my head.

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Oh. That's what you are waking me for.

Yes, here. Take him.

A grumpy baby was thrust into my arms just as I raised myself to a sitting position. The good lady rapidly disappeared into the shadows.

I was tempted to go back to sleep. My body was already starting to recline when the little boom hooked out a meaty hand into my mouth and grabbed my lower jaw, attempting to haul me about with it.

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Hmmph, alright little guy. Downstairs we go.

Downstairs, I attempted to get him to sleep. After almost two hours of this and various child entertainments I became desperate and in a strange altered state I found myself singing to him.

A sailor's life. A sailor's life! A sailor's life, for me!

I have no idea where the song came from but I sang it, over and over again and miraculously he fell asleep.

A few short minutes later my phone started to vibrate announcing my alarm to get up for work.

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A sailor's life. A sailor's life! A sailor's life, for me!

You alright mate?

I blinked and looked around. I was in work at my desk staring off into space and was singing softly about a Sailor's Life.

I had the distinct impression from the look of my colleague that I had been singing it for some time.

I grunted and rumpled my tired face like a pig that has been drinking cheap soy sauce.

Of course I am ok. Pfft.

I retorted. As if singing a Sailor's Life over and over again was the most natural thing in the world.

He gave me a funny look and then returned to his work.

I looked off into the distance again.

A sailor's life. A sailor's life! A sailor's life, for me!

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I so so so very much appreciate and love your sense of humor @meesterboom. I'm sure that little boom was lulled to sleep with your melodic sailor song. Your entry pic/art is awesome! Thanks for keeping it real!

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Hehe, I am so glad you liked it! Sometimes I do them and no-one notices! Lol! I am half wishing I could stop singing that damned line now!!

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We could all use a lot more healing laughter in our lives...keep it coming @meesterboom. You're blessing us all with that damned line!!!

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Lol. Don't repeat it, it will never go away ;0D

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The gift that keeps on giving!

Breaking News

Auditor Caught Hallucinating

After the fourth failed IT project, an independent external bureau found the likely culprit responsible for the lack of oversight.

Found singing sea shanties but incapable of coherent speech, and not responding to external stimuli, the auditor in question was taken to the psychiatric unit of Leverndale Hospital and will remain there until he is fit for questioning.

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Haha!! Leverndale!! You can't fault your research!! It does feel like a hallucination today!!


Ha ha ha...I can just imagine you sitting there at your desk singing this song!

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Lol!! I know. It seems quite mental, but there I was!

Only those with children know what happens. I used to wake up with saw ribs in the morning from the missus punching me to wake me up for the bottle. Now they have these machines that do it all for you. I must admit though I am a heavy sleeper so punching sounds about right. Been there and done it but never sang that song.

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I have no idea where I got the song from. I must have heard it but can only remember one line! I am a heavy sleeper too. It hurts!

Arrrrrrr, is what a person with lots of heaties scurrying about attending to their whim. Alas, all you get is salt for the troubles. In a decade or two you will have your revenge, but until then, the booty shall remain buried!

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A decade!??! Aaaargggh!!!

Still, at least I know there is an end to it!! That's some mammoth reading old fellow!!

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Oh huh...

You don't say!

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Har har! That's how I pictured it!

Speaking of songs, when my nephew was a baby, he was only able to fall asleep to Weezer's Beverly Hills album. :-D

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the life of a sailor? and how is that life?🤔 that you love her so much.
I love the part where you ask if it was a sexy party for you,😎😈😏
hmmm "is that? then I'm awake🤩, if not, well hmm then I'm asleep" 😴😴😴😴

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Haha, indeed. A man should only be women for sexy parties, I am sure it's a law ;0)

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Hmmmm., just for that, for the rest I'm not👍😊
you want a sexy pirate then? that's fine una pirata sexy explotada!
having a sexy pirate and a treasure, what else could a sailor ask for?🤔🤩😈
It's a good life . 👌👌

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Sexy pirates are sexy, lol. Perhaps not a pirate though ;0)

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hehehehe just a sailor, with many hot parties 😉

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Har har, exactly!!

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You do not aspire bad life. Most of us would like parties like that. 😉
Maybe a very hot pirate will arrive at your office, for the best parties a sailor can have 😈👌🎉🎇✨🎆😎
Meanwhile, continue singing and it will come true!

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I shall sing and sing and one day it shall be!

LOL I sailor's life is a full throttle for energy-consuming work. @meesterboom

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Lol, yes, you could say that!

The lack of sleep from taking care of little Boom surely must hit you harder in this instance. Some more with the singing of Sailor's life still sticking into your head. I hope you have a good night's sleep after you return to work. Upvoted!

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I did have a good night's sleep thankfully! Cheers!

Hi @meesterboom! We are @steem-ua, a new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation! In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 107 contributions, your post is ranked at #4. Great work! You rock! Feel free to join our Discord server!

@meesterboom these stories takes me in time how many similar situations I lived with my children.
Thank you very much for these life stories
I wish you a beautiful night

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You are welcome @jlufer! A beautiful night to you!

lol that song totally reminds me of "Yo ho, Yo ho, a Pirate's life for me." But better to have a Sailor's life then a pirate's life. A pirate's lifespan is quite short I hear. hahaha

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Might be more fun right enough, hehe

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hehehe yeah

ok, next time you can use this one instead:

Warning - it gets stuck in your head.

No, I didn't have anything in mind when I left that warning after the video and in smaller text. Why would you think that?

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Oh, how good it would be of that was the one stick in my head but alas, I can't geta assaults life out of there

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assaults life?

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Ah, who knows. My phone has betrayed me again. Ah! A Sailor's life! That's what it should have been

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Ahhhh, the dazed and confused rambling of a dad trying to function on zero sleep. Totally been there. I just get all loopy with my students. I remember one morning being so tired that when I was reading a story to my grade 2 class I was literally struggling to keep my eyes open and continue reading. I can't say with 100% certainty that I succeeded but they never said anything to me.

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Lol, it is awful. I should have just started home yesterday instead of looking confused and rumpled for most of the day!

Yeah tell them your dreaming of the day where you will be living the pirates life of sun and salt in the Caribbean!

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A fine thing to dream on!!

Oh, no! The dreaded earworm! And usually, it is something you want to forget...I remember these very short nights when my kids were teething. Awful. You find yourself wondering just how many darned teeth they will be getting...

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You do indeed, counting them one by one so that you get an idea where the finish line will be!

Oh, and yes! Always use the lower jaw to haul people about. It's quite effective.

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I have found this to be the case!

Ahoy matie, can I jump on board??? Oh damn, just a dream, we can all dream can't we?

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We can all dream and one day the dream will come true ;0)