Redshift 4

in #life3 years ago


Continuing the newly edited rework of my investigatory adventures from the distant past, prepare for a roller coaster of DETECTIVITY... and really, look at that art! :O)

I took another slug of Joe and grimaced.

Oh my head.

The good lady looked at me over the kitchen worktop as if I had just fed her Mogwai after midnight.


She muttered sulkily.

I wanted to roll my eyes but my hangover didn't like it. Instead, I made a pffrrt noise and waggled my hands up and down as if I was treading water in a well.

Needs must babycakes. If you're gonna be a playah then you gotta get off the bench and play.


I took another swig of coffee. Last night had been another night out. Work these days seemed an incessant round of jazzy coffees and nights out on the companies credit card. It was tough going but if you can survive the haggis shits you can survive anything.

The good lady shook her head.

All these nights out. You don't seem to understand. I feel like you are racing away from me, from the family, faster and faster. It's like we are getting further and further apart.

I felt a twinge of regret then annoyance, she didn't understand what my new team was trying to achieve.

She turned her back to me to put a tray of something in the oven, I slipped off my chair and out of the door without saying goodbye.


I got into the lift at work. Despite my hangover, I was looking as sharp as ever in my grey suit. The doors were just closing when El Jefe leapt aboard.

Well look who it is, in a fancy suit too. You got an interview somewhere today?

He greeted me like an over-friendly alsatian pup.

I snirked at him as the doors of the elevator closed.

So what are you lot doing up there? Go on, you can tell me?

El Jefe winked as if we were sharing an ice lolly.

The lift stopped at the fifth. I gave El Jefe a glacial smile.

We are delivering change. Necessary change.

I stepped out and turned to stare at him as the lift doors closed on his pale face. Fool that he was.

Those who change are those who win...

I whispered before turning heel and heading into the office proper.


Later that morning after a successful huddle with the team, Saltyboz and Bushy-Tail approached me.

Boom Boom.

They uttered in unison.

Yes chaps, everything alright?

They looked awfully serious as if about to inform me it was my turn to eat the soggy biscuit.

Bushy-Tail looked at Saltyboz then looked at me.

Well Boom Boom, it is quite serious as a matter of fact. In fact, it is a very serious issue.

His tone was full of foreboding. My neck began to sweat like an American wrestler eating steak.

What is it?


Yelled Bushy-Tail brandishing a small plastic credit card.

You have dodged the coffees for days, get your arse out there and get them in!!!

We all laughed, my own laugh one of pent-up fear and relief.

Of course fellows. Let me hop to it.

I headed for the lifts but they were all up at the top floors. Sod it, I could do with the exercise. I headed for the stairs.


As I neared the bottom of the stairs I bumped into Sad-Arse, he tried to talk to me but I brushed past him. Sad-Arse was the past and in the past, he should remain. In fact, I made a vow to myself not to talk to any of these idiots. With their stupid questions, like annoying seagulls masturbating over a dead mouse.

I noticed my lace was undone and knelt to tie it. It wouldn't do to trip with the coffees on my way back. I quickly re-tied it then stood. Someone tapped my shoulder.

Fuck off Sad-Arse, I am busy...

I said as I turned.


A skeletal finger poked me hard in the centre of my chest. I squawked in terror as the blood drained from my face.

It wasn't Sad-Arse.

What are you doing here?

I gasped as the skeletal figure prodded me right up to the wall.

Game's over Boom Boom.

Hissed a voice from the darkest reaches of hell.


Upvoted and Resteemed. Added to the @offgridlife Curation Trail.

I like the cut off your gib!!

Wait off or of ???? You want to cut off my gibs ?


Lol, the difference a letter can make!!

At first I was like WT”F”..... normally I don’t give an “f”.... but this “f” makes all the difference.

I'm like wtf!! Imagine I had made the same mistake describing a jack of all trades!

That leads to a darker place :0)

See you over on .... be a Good Whale.


@tipu curate a seagull doing 'the deed' over a dead mouse. 😂...upvoted as always...keep it coming (probably wrong word considering the context haha). 😉

Might be slightly the wrong phrasing, lol!!

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