The Learning Lunch

I had to revisit this story because I mention an insidious virus decimating the earth's population in it. Who knew!!

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One of the few things that keeps my spirits up during a long day at the coalface is lunchtime. A chance to catch-up on my steeming and for a moment to chill, away from the high octane thrills of working in a busy IT department.

Today it was announced that the current project, as part of an initiative to spur our creativity to new heights, was introducing...

The learning lunch.

Oooooo, what was this? Thought I. I hoped it wasn't similar to the brown bag breakouts.

Which sounds like it could be a Stephen King short story with a plot line that revolves around an insidious virus breakout that decimates the population of the earth.

Unfortunately not. What they actually are, is a meeting in which you bring your own sandwiches.

Exciting huh? They tend to occur at lunchtime as well. Poo to that says I.

My lunchtimes are sacred. So when I saw the invite to the learning lunch however intrigued I was, I happily ignored the 'invite'.

Such ignoring was not to be tolerated though. In no time at all El Jefe had materialised at my desk.

Boom! You haven't accepted the invite to the learning lunch yet. Why not?

It's at lunchtime, I am going out for my lunch.

I was somewhat hopeful in my reply. The sinking feeling that had developed in my belly at getting the invite intensified. I could see what was coming.

But it's the learning lunch you have to go.

But it's at lunchtime.

HA! Of course it's at lunchtime. It's a learning lunch!

Will there be food? As in, it's lunchtime, I normally eat at lunchtimes.

Food? Of course there will be food. It's lunchtime man!

El Jefe wandered off rather pleased with himself.

I scowled. I had a bad feeling about this.

Lunchtime came. I entered the room that the learning lunch was to be held in. Hmm, no sign of El Jefe. Instead, a foppish fellow greeted me.

Come in come in! We were just about to start.

He bounded over and shook my hand before bounding back to his laptop like an enthusiastic Labrador.

He pressed a button and on the TV behind him appeared a large 'C'.

Now, let's talk about Collaboration.

I raised a hand.

Er. Just checking, before we get stuck in and all. Is there any coffee or food or anything on the go?

Their was an audible titter from someone. The young fop looked upset, as if I had ejaculated into his tea.

Well no, this is a learning lunch?

Aaaaarrrgh!!! I gave up. If I heard someone say learning lunch one more time I would probably self combust.

An hour or so later it came to a close. The foppish young man enthusiastically gave out a short questionnaire.

If you have about improvement or comments on the learning lunch, please fill this out and hand it in. And don't worry it's all anonymous so you can be perfectly honest!

My belly rumbled. I looked at the questionnaire. Anonymous eh?

I secreted it among the others that were being handed back.

There, I felt much better.