Dear 2017, go fuck yourself.
Death sucks.
Whatever the age, the reason, the timing it just SUCKS.
And 2017 has been for me and my loved ones a really deadly year.
I'm not going to get into details of who, how and where but here are some thoughts on death and how it works (or should work).
When a person you love dies, you:
- Cry.
- Cry again.
- Appreciate people and stuff you have in your life and usually take for granted.
- Cry some more.
- Realize that many people have it worse than you.
- Live with the fear of death for a while, which means being nice to everyone, not fight, not stress, be grateful.
- Don't give importance to minor things and don't sweat over nothing.
- Remember stuff again and cry.
- Slowly get back to normal.
- Cry here and there whenever you feel vulnerable and alone.
After a certain period of time though, you get back to your usual life, your usual self and forget about all that.
Because that's the normal thing to do. You can't cry all of your life, you can't get depressed -well, technically you can but it's better for you to just BE STRONG.
It makes me wonder though. Even the strong ones, how strong can we really be? Isn't there a limit to our strength? HOW MUCH CAN A PERSON TAKE?
I'm not going to get into massacre, war, terrorism or exaggerated stories. A quite simple one back in the 90's in Greece that shocked me and I still remember is a car accident, with 3 brothers in the car who all burned alive. Tell me about this Mom. How STRONG can she really be?
I think the things that piss us most about Death are that:
- We don't know WHEN we or a loved one might die.
- When it happens, we can't really do anything about it.
- Praying doesn't help.
- Drinking doesn't help.
- Smoking doesn't help.
- Getting angry doesn't help.
- Being in denial doesn't help - for long.
- Crying certainly doesn't help.
- We don't know what's AFTER, on the other side - and there's no way to know.
- We start making up stories about WHAT IF and HOW IT WOULD HAVE BEEN.
- Those stories keep us awake at night and starving during the day.
- Whatever we do it practically doesn't matter.
I had high hopes for 2017. And they all got scattered like a plane crash on a glass building from the start. I kept hope, I kept optimism, but then one slap after the other. Deaths, health issues, financial problems, struggles, depression, NO WAY TO BREATH... But I was always strong. I am strong. I'll get through this TOO. I just wonder...
Until when...?
Life is short so we should live it to its fullest. Only problem is, that we never know when our time is up. We think we have time -but sometimes, we just don't. Whatever happens...Don't forget to smile, I guess...Oh, and tell people you love that you love them -every chance you get...
Yours
Mean Mommy
This is for Andy, all the grand parents and all the souls lost this year, or the years past. Cherish every moment before it's too late. A few photos from today, that I thought they go well with this post. 'Cause in the end, we're all alone. Sorry for the mumbling. I just had to share my pain...
2017 also was a nightmare for me. It take my loved once.. like you... My grade in college gone down.. everything was messy in 2017.. shut down 2017!!!!!
Agreed... Not much left anyway, fucking year.
Hope 2018 bring something good for us mate... Hope it will.....😞😞😞😞
Sorry to hear about your losses.
2018 is going to be the BEST year ever for you!!
Thank you my dear @daveks, I really appreciate it. For me and @creutzy both. Fucking year. Let's hope so because there have been enough shitty ones in a row...
Time to catch up with your colorful, positive pictures, I guess that will lighten up my mood a bit ;)
Oh honeybee,
I TOTALLY know what you mean.
2017 can fuck itself right in the ass.
Here's hoping to a better 2018 for ALL of us!
<3
In Greek we say 'from your mouth to God's ear' - indeed! We all deserve it!
I forgot to mention 'in the ass' - good input, thanks ;))) :*
συμφωνώ απόλυτα με όσα έγραψες και λυπάμαι πολύ για τις δύσκολες στιγμές που περνάς,καλή δύναμη! να είσαι καλά
S'efxaristo Mariouli mou. Einai poly dyskola. Alla vastao. Giati 'i Ellada pote den pethainei, den tin skiazei fovera kamia, mono ligo kairo ksapostainei, k ksana pros ti doksa trava'! Zo allou alla eimai Ellinida os ta mpounia! Opote pou tha paei, tha perasei k afto! <3
I'm still in denial. I wake up every morning and it doesn't hit me until I start coffee that I'm here alone and there is no one to make breakfast for.
Then I get mad because Martin never finished his will and left me to deal with his estate and my own now unsecured financial future. Without the will everything has to be sold and divided between his distant cousins.
Then I get even more pissed off when I think of all the things he wanted to do and didn't because he wanted to make sure Lillian & I were taken care of after his death. Well.. Guess what. It was a waste since neither of us will keep what he wanted us to. He should have went back to Europe and spent a month there. He should have spent an extra week in Maine every year or went to Florida or Texas instead.
Seems the only way I can get through this sometimes is burying myself here in work.
Today's Thanksgiving here in the US. I'm going to enjoy the one good thing that happened this year. My 5 month old grandson.
If you're like me, nothing I say can or will ease your pain. I appreciate all the well meant thoughts and comments that everyone sends my way but it doesn't ease my sadness or pain. Just know my thoughts are with you.
All this sounds so familiar... from my Dad's to my grandpa's story, and others...
Actually the fact that you can feel my pain -I know you can- actually eases it... so thanks... It helps... It doesn't make it disappear but it helps...
Also, wills and heritage issues are a bitch. Almost a decade after I lost my Dad and I still deal with this bullshit. Just because he didn't want to listen to me and took his usual stubborn decisions. And now with my grandpa the same shit. Mistakes of the past that we have to pay.
Thank you @patrice. I told you before, I think you're the best person in this platform. And for those who don't know that already, this comment is the proof. Hugs :*
Death, whether it be violent, sudden, painful or long expected and accepted it is our inevitable future, the ending of a journey and the beginning of something new. Some people think there is no such thing as the afterlife, but I want to believe that people don't just perish and vanish into oblivion, we are and we continue to be and we wait until our final reunion.
It's a lot more comforting to think of death as a break rather than a final goodbye. I hold on to that thought any time something bad happens and try to think what new world this person has just entered, what new thing they are about to learn and what people they have dearly missed they're about to meet again...
Inevitable future yes, but not at 31...(that's Andy's case...) And yes, I believe that too - I'm a theologian God damn it, I should believe that, right? :(
I hate goodbyes anyway...
That's how our common friend put it : See you on the other side mate, for new adventures... but it's just hard. SO hard. To accept, to confront, to live with.
It is unfair! It is cruel! It is absolutely painful! I know that... It's the anger and pain that we feel, it's normal, we're human, we feel, we live, we bond and when those bonds are broken we're shocked. I just lost an aunt yesterday, she'd been fighting cancer for at least 10 years, her husband died 2 years ago, they left a 23-year-old daughter behind.
Sometimes thinking that they have moved on to another state of being is our only consolation, I know I may hold on to a silly idea, but I want that comforting safety-blanket I've wrapped around my mind...
The list is long... And all of us have luggage. Death luggage. I'm sorry about your aunt :(
My first -platonic- love died at a car accident. He was only 18.
I have no Dad. I have no grandpa. My bf lost grandma and grandpa (not the couple, the other way around) this year as well.
Now this.
That's why I'm saying. How strong can we be in the end? Until when?
Yes, this other state of being helps. Thank you for that. Me enan efxouli gia syntrofia k elpida na zoume. <3
Here, have some fantasy to ease you on a hard night like this. I know it's bad, but you're strong, we're stronger than we think and we can face anything!
- Mum, where do people go when they die?
- It's funny you ask that, dear. I believed you already knew.
- No, I don't.
- Well, take a look out of the window and tell me what do you see.
- The dark, black sky.
- Hmm, and if you get a little closer?
- I see a few stars.
- And a little closer?
- Nothing but the black sky and and a few more stars.
- And if you get your head out of the window and raise it up what will you see?
- Wow! Now I can see thousands of stars. But I don't get what this has to do with my question.
- My love, those stars are nothing more than the people we lost. Every bright spot up there is a sparkling soul that left its body to find their place in the skies. Death is a cold and dark place, just like the universe, but stars are glowing and warm because they get the living and loving energy from the soul that created them. We are made of love and light fighting to escape and explore the cosmos, our body carries them for some time as we wander across the earth, but when it can no longer contain them a bright firework explosion happens and all this energy escapes in the sky to find its rightful place. And live happily. And gain serenity. And be in peace with the rest of the world. The rest of us that stay behind feel sad and mad and hurt, but we don't realise that up there's where we're supposed to be. Down here we're temporary travellers, but up there we're beams of love.
PS: I just made it up, I don't know if you'll like it...
I'm so sorry you've lost your beloved grandpa, big hug to you! This year has certainly been a challenge for me too and for so many people I know although at this particular time I'm so so grateful to be having a good month. Much love to you!
Thank you deary...
I remember us whining and cursing about 2016... Well who knew it can be worse...
But 2018 shouldn't be like a child - that we put all hopes on it and then get disappointed again. Positive but not over-excited I guess...
But yeah, I got on Steemit, I met you, I can't put this in the dumpster with the rest for sure and I'm grateful for that!!! In the end...maybe 2017 is not that bad...only a new start through endings... ;) <3 :*
I'll also say that I met you in 2017 and for this I am happy :-)
a new start through endings - I love this interpretation!
Hope you can regroup very soon and find peace.
But it was 2016 that was my year of death losing my daughter and niece and grandmother. Still I hold the burden of that year. Slowly I am regrounding but not there yet. Hugs :)
Oh my God... Daughter? You lost your daughter? :((((( Nothing can - fortunately or unfortunately - top that and I'm so SO sorry to hear...... :( And for your niece and grandma of course, but you know... :(((( 2016 was shit too. I hope all years burn and get a happy, hopeful 2018... I'm wishing you all the best and tell me how you do it because for me it's pretty hard... DM on the chat if you like :)
It was a still birth I wrote about it in my first posts. In consequence it resulted in my being single now. But its not about toping anything. This was my path I had to follow and i am in a better place now! Its still very hard for me but I have accepted this is the path my life has taken and I have forced myself to find the positives in this. I have made a little spot in my local woods to celebrate her life I go there occasionally and meditate, I have been meaning to do a post but am not able to yet!
Time and slow acceptance has been my approach. I still have moments when I an needy of dropping a tear or two. Happy to chat I on steam chat occasional y but very rare I'm afraid. But happy to help if I can. Yes 2018 is the year to be merry :)
I do believe that meditation helps!!! And I'm also trying to be positive, always, whatever happens, as much as I can...
Time is a healer I guess...
Merry it is then! :D Thanks for your kind words and positive attitude !!! :D <3
Sure meditation got me through the hardest times. I would go an sit in the local woods build a fire and meditate for hours. Sometimes having a little chant too (still do when the weather is nice, far to much rain recently). But yea found being in nature really helped. Being positive came hard very hard but with time I am now ;)
Death is shit, but such is life. I for one, was angry for a while when dad died, but realized a few things about myself in the process, I guess. I guess we just have to move on. No point on dwelling on it too long, but that's easier said than done...
Always easier said than done... It's official, I lost my friend today - he didn't make it :(((
About Dads...well, you and me have a lot to talk about, in private. But to be honest, with mine, I wasn't angry- I was just trying to balance within a retarded family, which made my pain even more difficult...
Sorry to hear... It's never a good time...
I was angry as fuck, as it was not expected and died out of someone else's mistake. People always telling me that god takes care of him surely didn't help, either. Bitch, if god was good, he wouldn't kill a good man!
Bullshit - no God,nothing. Nothing helps. Even though (the Theologian in me wants to get out haha) they say that God takes the best ones to be by His side... :/ Pffff I don't know. We don't know anything about why or what happens after but for sure nothing makes it easier, simple as that :/
We'll talk more about that soon... (especially about the 'mistake' you say - I didn't know about that...)
Sure, we don't know what happens after, but sure as hell it ain't a good, loving, all-seeing, all-powerful god. If it were, none of this shit would happen.
And well, he died in a car crash, and I'm pretty sure the other guy didn't wanna crash and die there, so ... a mistake
I think I knew about this but not about someone else's fault... fuck this :((( :* <3
The other guy lost control and crashed. Anyway, not my favourite subject...