My intention was not to generalize that all of us are either "Soft" or "Strong", eager to tell how they feel or hide things and defensive or confrontational, etc. Or that in every relationship roles are divided somewhat like this, you know? I'm just very interested in this topic and chose to took up this point of view and needed some examples to demonstrate my thinking..

"--it's essential how you express your emotions." I agree on this for sure! It's so important to think how you express yourself so that you would be understood thoroughly. Although this might be difficult when emotions are related to the situation and mixed with thinking. You describe how you couldn't stand your ex shouting and I have experienced similar situation except that it wasn't about shouting but talking and settling things in general, where the other one couldn't stand that.

Like you say, the main thing is to find the balance. You have to make compromises so that both of you could be heard and not hurt. That definitely ain't easy and requires lots of work and commitment to the relationship.