I wonder when my kids grow up will they see all these posts I wrote. Will there be enough value in these daily posts that can help them in their journey of life. I am currently reflecting upon the past week events and have moments I garner a stigma to. The moments all relate back to my way of thinking about life.
When I was young I felt I had eternity to do the things I wanted. In time I came to realize I had but limited time and unlimited things to do. Hence I had to make choices on what to me seemed like the priority.
When I visited my dentist last week right at the end of my checkup the dentist politely mentioned that for the age that I am now it is concerning to see my teeth had decades so much. She estimated my teeth were that of a 45 years old. Rather than anger that filled my mind I was thinking about what I wanted to be when I do turn 45.
Immediately I knew I wanted more. More in the sense of living life. To me life was more to do with family and friends. (Observing my old boss who was a Vice President I thought his life was unfilling. His children grew up and left home to build their own lives. He sits in his corner office most of the time staring at his phone. He does this five days straight and and calls it a week. He maybe well off collecting a paycheck but what more of a life than to just keep watching the bank balance statement go up?) At a young age I was taught to believe working for a career would bring me financial stability and life fulfilling. I was mistaken with the fulfilling portion. The way to climb up the corporate ladder is to be active and aggressively competition to get to the top. The goal is to earn more money And prestige. Along the way I found that I lack the time to have a social life or even a family life. Times I scaraficied work over family has taken its toll. I no longer feel the urge to quickly complete a task in order to stay late at work and continue progressing. Instead why not stay home more and teach my kids basic arithmetic and English grammar. Spending time with family will in the long run be what I want. Not the bigger balance statement. That I know for certain.
When I visited my grandmother yesterday it was another moment that made me feel I should better spend my time well in this world. She is nearly approaching 90 years old but she has a lot of difficulty moving and doing daily essentials. Not long ago I remember how vibrant she was being with her friends. Most of them have now passed away or in similar condition as her.
There is more to life than just living the moment. I feel I have not done what I really wanted to do is not what I am doing now. There is more to life than just money and prestige. I do not want to be late in figuring out what I really want in life as time is very very precious to me.