The games I play
A lot of my time lately has been spent in playing games. Online, offline, PC, mobile, console games. Whatever I can get my hands on.
This is a coping mechanism that I have when things go bad for me. Things are not okay with me for the past few months as I feel more and more powerless of things that I cannot change and with the things that I can I feel they are not the best thing to do.
It is my way of escapism, of trying to detach myself from the reality I am faced with. I know that I should handle the problem head on. I have heard this a hundred times. I have been told this by countless people and yet I don't know how to move forward from it.
I see myself hiding in a facade again of being okay. I go to work, I go out with people and paint a fake smile. Yet when I go home I know the emptiness waiting for me.
Thus why I look to games to fill all my time when I am not working. All my time when I am not around people. All my time.
It is the only thing keeping me sane at this point.
Hopefully this is just an interlude and the main act starts soon. I want to move away from the duldrums but at this point I fear letting go of the games
I know the pain and the feeling @maverickinvictus. For 2 years I fought depression and burnout symptoms.
I saw you mentioned you felt burntout on a different post. If you want we can chat about it more on discord. You can find me there @HumanEarl #6281
Maybe I can help you
Thanks HumanEarl I appreciate your concern. Steemit saved me last year when I was at my lowest.
It was people like you who reached out who made me feel that world was not that bad enough.
I am not as suicidal as last year but I just feel a lack of energy and motivation no matter what I do lately.
Ahh I see. So do you run your own business or what is your work situation?
What can i say, @maverickinvictus? Been there, done that (not with games). Some days ago a dear friend of mine told me, the only way to get out of that hole is getting out of that hole.
Sounded harsh, but it was that simple.
I'm still depressed, can't help it if you live in venezuela, and have a family that depends on you, but i can't sink, so i try to keep myself productive and figure ways to get out of the damn hole for good.
And i don't have much of a social life. Imagine not to be able to go anywhere because there aren't even buses in town working (just a few, overcrowded; mostly trucks of all kinds), not cash to pay for basic things, not enough money in the bank to even invite a friend a cup of coffee, a city full of trash and people eating from it, services that do not work, electricity that fails, internet that fails, phone lines that collapse; i mean, we are talking total chaos, man.
That's the kind of hole we've been thrown down here.
You take care
That sounds awful @hlezama! I've been following the mess there but I when I hear it first hand from someone like you, it's all the more terrible. And from what I can gather, there's no end in sight! How does something like that even happen? I mean, I know how, but it just leaves me shaking my head. And the worst part is outside of Venezuela, not many seem to care.
Sending positive vibes your way and I hope you find a way to get out of that hole for good @hlezama!
Thank you very much, @lynncoyle1. The main reason this happen is education, or rather the lack of it. Our educational system did great for a while, but it declined and was then purposefuly paralized by Chavez. 18 years later you have an entire generation of youth who do not belive in things like the ones you mention in your profile. They can't even real well, let alone interpret, analyze, act based on the analysis. That pretty much summaries our tragedy.
We did as much as we could in colleges and universities, but when you receive kids out of H-S who can barely read and write and who were promoted year after year even if they didn't even show for class, then there isn't much you can do.
In that period of time those who were teenagers and lived in poverty became adults still in poverty, but seeing the government as their only benefactor. They feel they owe everything to the government; they are willing to continue contributing to their own misery.
You add to those spirits in the dark a finantial crisis and total dependence of a militarized state and you get current Venezuela.
I'm so sorry to hear this Mave! I'm watching my son go through the same ... again. Everyone not in your shoes is full of advice, but I guess you just do what you have to do and keep on keepin' on :)
Wow. I should totally not go into counselling :)
Thinking of you <3