Nobody is Compassionate
"Myths tell us how to confront and bear and interpret suffering, but they do not say that in life there can or should be no suffering.
When the Buddha declares there is escape from sorrow, the escape is Nirvana, which is not a place, like heaven, but a psychological state of mind in which you are released from desire and fear ... (and your life becomes — ) harmonious, centered, and affirmative (even with suffering).
The Buddhists speak of the bodhisattva — the one who knows immortality, yet voluntarily enters into the field of the fragmentation of time and participates willingly and joyfully in the sorrows of the world. And this means not only experiencing sorrows oneself but participating with compassion in the sorrows of others. Compassion is the awakening of the heart from bestial self-interest to humanity. The word 'compassion' means literally 'suffering with.' ... compassion condones suffering in that it recognizes, yes, suffering is life. " - Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
Reading "compassion means literally 'suffering with' struck me, oddly.
Most of the time when I think I'm being compassionate, I'm just giving a shit. That's a good start, but it's not really feeling the other person's pain with them.
Man, that's hard.
It's funny how words start with a literal meaning, then morph as society responds. Merriam-Webster says compassion means "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it." That's close to the original meaning. But consciousness, awareness of someone's pain, is not the same as feeling it.
Seems like we've subtly rejected the possibility of feeling others' pain. That giving a shit is enough to be compassionate. You can be nice without being vulnerable. You can try to help, even if you don't really help.
In a society that worships the know-it-alls, rather than the people who don't-yet-know-but-want-to-learn — I'm not shocked. Being vulnerable means admitting you don't have it all figured out, and that makes people think less of you.
Just because it shouldn't be that way doesn't mean that it isn't how it goes.