We are the same

In the world are courageous, fearful, builders, demolition, painters, carpenters, gardeners, beggars or loners. In the world we are all kinds, but seldom we are the same. In fact, it happens to be the same, but not at once. The clock of our heart is programmed differently and starts ticking often only a second later than the hour next to us. And so the dreams break. From a heart that began to love a second later. And when you think that a second is so small that you do not see it, how to feel it. Why does love have eyes to see it? Why not shut them down and let people love, hurt them, love them wrong and then hurt them even worse?

Because the heart knows when we need that second and gives it to us. And the heart understands them all. Even the cowards, the beggars, and the lonely ones. Because the heart beat everyone in the chest and knows how hard it is to break down, but also how hard it is to build.

I am among the builders and the cowardly, the gardener and the loner. I put my heart in a box and around it I built high walls. I have built brick brick myself and still build. The castle around the heart is a process that ends only when it collapses, and I'm not yet a brave demolition. I like to be a builder and a gardener. Let's put flowers on the gates of the castle, take care of them and indulge in their perfume. Let go of the visitors, even if they know that when they get to the gates, many come back from where they started.

Many wonder how I got so. A creepy builder who cares for himself the garden. You would say that they hurt too many and too much. They did it, it's true, but I never thought the wounds made by others should guide my future. I wear the wounds with confidence, and I am so accustomed to them that I am not surprised when I see them, I do not caress my eyes, I do not miss it anymore. They have somehow healed.

I got so because several times my heart started making a tic-tac just one second earlier than the man next to me. And I put my head on her chest and I did not hear the delay. My heart beat so hard that it covered and the second delay of hers. We heard only at the end, when that second of us became infinite, and now it has turned into a abyss. That's why I'm building it now to cover for a second.

And it's okay. It's not hard for me, but I'm terrified by the pity and compassion of some. Not to mention words and hugs with meaning. We, all who resemble me, are normal. We are at a stage in our lives in which we make choices that we assume, understand and accept. We are not defective, we are just more seated, more obedient, because we want to hold someone and feel our hearts together: tic-tac, not tic-tic, tac-tac. And you, the brave and the demolition, you do not know how we see you. Like some superheroes. Not that we want to be like you, but sometimes the courage and lack of fear you possess is simply mellitus. So, do not look at us mercifully. We are normal. We are happy. We are like you, but it just did not happen to be like that!