Love is a choice

Love can not erase the past, but it can change the future. When choosing to actively express our love in each other's language, create an affective climate in which we can address the conflicts and shortcomings of the past.

Mistakes of the past

How can we talk to one another the language of love when we are full of suffering, anger and resentment about the mistakes of the past? The answer to this question is found in human nature itself. We are beings who have the choice. That means we have the ability to choose badly and often. I made reproaches and I offended. We are not proud of these choices, although they may have seemed justified at the time.

If we made bad choices in the past, it does not mean we have to repeat them in the future. Instead, we can say; "I'm sorry, I know I made you suffer, but I want things to be different in the future. I want to love you in your language. I'd like to meet your needs. "Some marriages can be saved from divorce when couples choose love.

Experience of lover

It is consumed at instinct level. It's not premeditated. It simply happens in the normal context of the relationship between man and woman. It can be maintained, but it is not born out of a conscious choice. It has a short duration, usually less than two years old, and seems to serve mankind in a way similar to the gesture mating strike.

"The experience of love" temporarily satisfies the affective need for love. It gives us the feeling that someone is holding us and appreciating us. Feelings are satisfied by the thought that another person thinks we are "the best," and this person is willing to devote time and energy exclusively to our relationship. For a short period of time, no matter how long it takes, our affective love need is satisfied. The tank is full, we can conquer the whole world. Nothing seems impossible to us. For many, this is the first time they live with the full affection tank, which gives them a sense of euphoria.

Our language of love. Down to earth

In time, however, we return with our feet on the ground, in the real world. If the partner has learned to speak our main language of love, our need for love will be further satisfied. But if he or she does not speak our love language, the tank will clear easily and we will never feel loved. Satisfying the partner's need is definitely a matter of choice. If we learn the language of our partner's affectionate love and talk to her as often as possible, she will continue to feel loved. When it comes back from the obsessive experience of "falling in love", it will not even feel it lacking, because its affectional love reservoir will continue to be full.

But if we did not learn the main language of love or decided not to talk, when it comes back from emotional height, it will feel a natural need to satisfy the desire for affection, but this will not be possible. After spending a few years with the empty love reservoir, more likely it will "fall in love" with someone else and the cycle will repeat itself.

Satisfying your wife's need for love is a daily choice. If you know your primary love language and you decide to talk to him, his deeper affective needs would be satisfied and he would feel safe in your love. If he does the same, your affective needs are satisfied and you both live with full tanks. In a state of affectionate affection, both of us will dedicate our creative energies to projects outside of marriage, but you will continue to have a fascinating marriage and steady progress.

Few men who suffer from an empty affective tank leave their marriage before there is someone else to satisfy their need for affection. He can be in a big dilemma: he does not want his wife and children to suffer, but at the same time he feels he deserves a happier life. True and long-lasting love is a choice and she can re-marry if he and his wife learn to love the right language.

What do you do for your partner?

Love is what you do for someone else, not for you. Many of us do a lot of things every day without being "natural" Why? Because we have the impression it deserves to do it. And usually, before the end of the day, we were glad we did. Our deed precedes the feeling. The same is true in love. We discover the partner's main love language and decide to talk to him whether or not he is comfortable. We do not have to be full of enthusiasm. We simply decide to do it for the good of our partner. We want to satisfy our emotional needs and thus we speak the language of love. By doing so, the emotional reservoir of love is full, and we may be able to respond with the same coin. When our language is spoken, our love tank begins to fill.

Love is a choice. Any partner can start today to express it.

source:ziardecluj.ro