How to be a pig and enjoy it - by @mariandavp

I'll start being a pig by writing in a way that is convenient to me rather than being objectively correct. So I'll skip the intros and cut into the chase.

If you want to have an enjoyable life as a pig, you have to:

1. Be independent. Don’t attach to people; don’t let them attach to you.

2. Turn “companionship” into “collaboration”. Of course it’s great to work in pairs, but make sure to set the terms and conditions of your partnerships rather than acceding to them.

3. Be compassionate. Did you know that pigs often try to escape the barn but there always some that risk their lives to help the others escape too? Shame that they are not able to take a selfie while doing their act of kindness…

4. Claim your space. Pigs claim their space in order to grow. Set narrow limits and live a limited life.

5. Forgive yourself. Don’t punish yourself eternally for mistakes of the past. Pigs are destructive during their explorations. After all it’s part of their mammal nature. But they are constructive when they settle down. They even make beds for themselves and their babies.

6. Be a strong fighter. Even if this means fighting and defeating… yourself. Don’t be intimidated by pain. It will pass.

7. Be a fast runner. Not all fights are meant to be won. Measure your powers over your opponent’s. Measure the benefit over the cost. Be a proud coward and run away. Fast. You don’t owe your resources to anyone.

8. Opt for intelligence over emotions. Our emotional mind was developed to address the fallacies of our instinctive mind. Our logical mind was developed to address the fallacies of our emotional mind. Your software has been updated; use it to solve the problems that unavoidably appear.

9. Learn new skills. No matter how good you are in one thing other people will always be able to catch up with you. Also, everything changes. When you know more than less, you significantly lower the possibility of realizing one day that everything you knew no longer exists.

10. Keep your needs simple. Pigs only want to be watered, fed and taken out to the sun. Their world doesn’t collapse because they didn’t get attention. You will never be content if your needs’ satisfaction depends on other people’s willingness.

11. If somebody asks you to jump, jump! As long as there is a really good treat coming afterwards. Pigs, like dogs, are highly trainable animals, but there is always a negotiation element involved; it’s called reward. Don’t feel guilty to ask for a reward, if someone else initiates the request. If you wish to waive the consideration, do it after your counterparty proves willing to pay it.

12. Be a good swimmer. It’s nice to believe in the fairness of life, but don’t write it on the rock. If you are suddenly thrown in the sea, this rock will pull you down. There is a shore for sure, but train mentally to the possibility that you may find yourself in the middle of Pacific Ocean.

13. Don’t use all your toes. Pigs have four toes on each foot but only walk on two. Walking on tiptoes, apart from cute, is also silent. If you are preparing for something don’t be too loud about it.

14. Be active at night. Sleep is a valuable gift of life if you want to live long. If you want to live big you have to move forward when everyone else is resting.

15. Finally and most importantly, if someone throws you mud, use it as a sunscreen. Light is not always a good thing. Seeking for everybody’s approval can turn into a cancerous habit. So again; if someone throws you mud, roll around in it ostentatiously. You may be surprised how many people may feel the need to jump in the mud with you.

And to close this “invaluable” life advice that I am trying to convince myself to follow, I will quote my late grandmother who was completely opposed to any act that came out of insecurity, low self-esteem or increased self-consciousness:

Some will like you, some will not.

And that to me has always been a liberating truth. Now go out there and be a badass!

[imagesource: http://quotesgram.com/img/famous-quotes-from-piggy/5288764]