Meditation Illustrations: Mandazii Tarot

Back in the day (mid-90's) back when army boots and flannel reigned supreme, I got very interested in the occult (and this was before The Craft came out) and soothsaying. One can blame Unsolved Mysteries or the various books (anthropological in nature) I found tarot cards to be especially interesting-- and way more classy than reading goose entrails.

My first deck was obtained in high school. Tarot of the Cat People, which given the name, spells out the theme. Cats and people that looked like cats. It was a fun deck, but it didn't keep my attention.

When I was in college, I graduated to another deck, this one The Mythic Tarot, in which all the cards related to various Greek stories. I liked it, but again, it didn't keep my attention.

After I got married, I got hold of the Visconti Tarot; it's based off a 13th century Italian deck, every card with gold leaf.

This has been the deck that I go to when I want insight into something bothering me. I like that it's based on something historical, and the size of the cards are just right (many are extra-wide and aren't comfortable to hold/shuffle)

A couple years back, I had a terrible breakup; he and I were good friends in high school, lost touch after my younger brother died in 2000, and by 2015, we reconnected (as many mistakes do) on Facebook. One of my coping methods is the aforementioned tarot readings. And despite how many times I shuffled the cards before selecting those for my reading, I kept getting the same cards, over and over. Sometimes they'd be in the same place in multiple readings, which weirded me out. When I noticed that pattern, I stopped reading the cards and started drawing those which repeated themselves in readings.

The first card I drew was the Wheel of Fortune. It's general meaning is that life is a cycle of ups and downs, and there's always a turn for the better ahead of us. It's how we cope that helps define us as people, the workings of our destiny.

As you can see, this wheel got stuck in a deep rut, causing it's owner to hike to higher ground.

The next card was The Tower. It means destruction of one's foundation and big change. It is commonly depicted as being a tower struck by lightning and people cringing in horror.

I changed it up with having the tower itself upon a precipice. One wrong step and doom awaits.

After that, Death awaited. In tarot, it generally doesn't mean physical death; illness or an unfortunate event is more its forte.

Death doesn't have to do much but look ominious.

Then The Empress. Traditionally a card of femininity, stability, and home. Fertility, motherhood.


I spent a lot of time trying to get the look of pregnancy right. A part of the shitty breakup involved the loss of a pregnancy and it messed with me.

The High Priestess is a card that indicates the higher powers at work; intuition and psychic forces.

Having served as a priestess in a coven back in the day, I went with a Wicca-inspired look.

The Lovers is a complex card. It doesn't just mean 'love,' it means the choice between duty and the heart. Of happiness and love affairs and the bittersweet sorrows clinging to edges. Sacrifice.

I drew this card with a mirror/window into another's soul as a theme. Two lovers stand separated by the barrier, each longing to make contact. But how does one go about doing so?

The Moon is another complex card. It's neither positive nor negative; If it seems the path you are on is dark, keep walking as best as one can.

Here I have the moon reflected in an eye.

The Sun is a positive card. Happiness, joy. Associated with summertime. Abundance, healthy family.

It's hard to make out, but the person's reflection in the water has a hint of wings, phoenix-inspired; as in rising up after a downfall like a phoenix arising from the ashes.

The Star is a card of the mind; that the power of the mind is strong enough to manifest itself as reality (aka self-fulfilling prophecy)

Sorry about the glare in the pic. Here we have a mermaid propping up a star in the night's sky.

I haven't worked on my interpretation of the cards lately. I draw best when butthurt and perhaps when butthurt strikes again I'll work on more cards. For me dealing with my breakup, I found drawing out the themes to help purge myself of the anger and help come to terms with the situation in a positive way as I reflected upon their meanings and why they appeared so often in readings during that period in my life.

Now, onto centauresses!