It's not you. It's me. (with original art)
I know how it looks.
I haven't posted anything here in months and recently started powering down my account.
But don't worry. My reasons for this are unrelated to Steemit.
I haven't lost interest or become dissatistfied with this platform.
And, although laughing at the lies of corrupt public officials can now apparently get a person sent to jail in the US, I've not started self-censoring out of fear over how my views will be received, either. As always - and especially on Steemit - I feel quite free to express myself however.
So then what is the problem?
In short, the problem is my brain. An incurable and extremely inconvenient medical condition called cluster headache has been taking up all of my extra time since last autumn. This condition's latest onslaught also made short work of my savings and emergency money, which has forced me to begin tapping into my powered-up STEEM.
In general, cluster headaches are a fucking nightmare. These things come in waves, one after another after another for days or weeks or months. Moderate attacks are painful enough to cause involuntary bodily writhing of the sort that passersby mistake for seizures. Severe episodes are more intensely traumatic than can be processed by the rational mind. And while this condition is recognized by medical science to be one of the most painful things a human being can experience, industrial medicine remains unclear on exactly what causes or eliminates it. So despite loads of tests and drug prescriptions, no doctor has so far proven able to cure me of these cluster headaches, or curtail them in a way that improved my quality of life even slightly.
(a malfunctioning hypothalamus screws up the autonomic nervous system )
Obviously, in order for me to have any sort of a life at all, I have had to become adept at managing this thing (which I've posted about before). A great deal of patient and ruthlessly systematic work along such lines has made it possible to reduce the average number of attacks I experience per year from a couple thousand down to just seven or eight hundred, and to get to the point where the most severe episodes occur only rarely. But there are still good years and bad years. And, with my current headache cycle now entering its seventh month, this has not been one of the good ones.
As you can probably imagine, the challenges I face as a result of this condition can be extremely unpleasant. Describing them is tedius and depressing. Reading about them is not very much fun, either. So when my life consists of little more than dealing with these challenges, blogging about it tends not to improve matters.
In truth, although I have some great posts coming up, I will likely continue to neglect Steemit until this latest headache cycle calms down. But I bought groceries this week with money drawn from saved-up steem power, and am totally excited about the way this site is developing, so I figured it was time to check in and say hello - and ...
Awesome work, hope you're feeling better!
So awful to even try to comprehend what you're going through. Glad that this platform has allowed a tiny bit of financial leeway for you. And for what it's worth, your work is beautiful. :)
Thanks. Fortunately, I've been dealing with this stuff for long enough that deep resilience has become ingrained in my thinking, and it is possible to keep my life going for long periods of time with just a few hours of being functional each day. Steemit is definitely helping with the latter, this time around:)
I hope the rest of the year goes a little better in the head haha But honestly that really sucks. My partner has started to get heacaches to the point that he retches and pretty much has to lay down for the rest of the day. Trying to get him into a doctor has been a nightmare too. Sorry to hear things aren't going your way mate. Sending mental hugs and all that... Much LUV,
HR
Yup. Bad headaches are no joke., and good doctors are few and far between. Hope things improve there.
Have you looked at eliminating sugar, wheat and dairy from your diet? Would be wonderful to have more time for your painting.🌹💖🌹
Thanks, @allyinspirit.
When cluster headaches first showed up, I would experience severe attacks more than a hundred times a month, every single month, with no breaks in the cycle over the course of a year. So I spent nearly two years systematically figuring out what sorts of things made these more/less likely to occur, made them more/less intense when they did occur, etc. As a result, I was able to drastically reduce both the incidence and severity of the attacks, such that it became possible to maintain some semblance of a life even through a bad year like this one.
It did indeed help to eliminate most processed sugars (especially high fructose corn syrup) and all artificial sweeteners. Same with most dairy products. And lots of other stuff, too (like, most of the so-called "food" in most stores). But as it turns out, my body actually likes whole grains - including wheat - so long as it hasn't been drenched in pesticide or combined with other problematic ingredients.
Glad to see you back after such a long absence. I sent you a message on your personal page when I was buying Fixing Broken Robots about trying Cannabidiol (CBD) for your headaches. I hope you get some relief and look forward to more from you. Wellness to you!
+Cannabis and you could try heavy metal detox which I tried from QuickSilverScientific. Also leaky gut gives me huge neurologic problems when I eat something I shouldn't like gluten, beer, dairy... I'm also doing the Wahls diet, from Dr. Terry Wahls MD., she's in remission from MS, and her diet works wonders, I personally know people with MS and they are doing very well living normally without any symptoms other than some fatigue and I noticed that my cognitive functions were improving, which were already hugely improved after the heavy metal detox. I'll be posting more about my life and struggles in health. Ask me anything, I have years of experience and I'm quite skeptical and into science.
A W E S O M E followed and upvoted
woow ha de ser de verdad muy malo para ti, vivir asi. a veces siento que los problemas me ahogan, pero al leer tu caso cambio de parecer. espero te mejores y siga contando como evoluciona su enfermedad
Thanks, @sary.nee. Life with the headaches can be difficult. But I imagine that the important part is inside of how life's difficulties are met.
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Gracias, @sary.nee . La vida con los dolores de cabeza puede ser difícil. Pero me imagino que la parte importante está dentro de cómo las dificultades de la vida se cumplen.