THE ONE-NIGHT STAND…
If it's done right, it can be liberating."
-- Rachel Perry
The Sterotype
Historically.., and even presently, the One-Night Stand is seen as a completely selfish act by a shallow man, to satisfy his ego.., and add another notch to his belt (or bedpost)… While the women is shamed and regretful.., and seen as being taken advantage of…
HORSE-HOCKEY!
I myself, am a firm believer of -- The One-Night Stand. And, to be completely honest.., have had more than my share (more than most people's share - not bragging, maybe a little)… If you have read some of my past posts, you are aware I have been bartending for quite some time… And it is not uncommon for me to leave the bar with a different woman -- every night of the week…
When I lived in Hollywood, in this amazing old apartment building -- The Alto Nido (the high nest), and old Hollywood hotel turned into an apartment building, that was affordable for up and coming actors -- my upstairs neighbors were Rory Cochran and Renee Zellweger… There was an amazing greek restaurant right down at the bottom of the hill, that I would sometimes eat at 3x a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner)… It was like my home away from home -- the waiters and even the owner, were literally in awe.., of the amount of women I would come in there with -- everyday, a different lady…
A One-Night Stand is a chance for intimacy without all the emotional baggage… A purely physical act between two people that hardly know each other… A chance to let off some steam, have a good time..,
and meet someone interesting.
and meet someone interesting.
Once again, I am not bragging.., but this restaurant would be frequented by all the "players" in Hollywood (Rob Lowe, Charlie Sheen, Brad Pitt).., and the owner of the place -- Joseph, would always tell me -- "You bring in more women than all those hotshots.., combined -- you're my freaking hero!"
Personal Experience
And I'll tell you.., I have met some of the most amazing women, from these One-Night Stands.., from newbies to town, to some very powerful Hollywood players -- all looking for a little companionship.., without the hassle of a relationship.
The infamous song by the Eagles -- Hotel California, is partly about a woman -- a very powerful woman in LA named Lori Rodkin (pretty hot too), she dated Don Henley of the Eagles for awhile, but was rumored to have been sleeping with quite a few of Hollywoods up and coming leading men… She was there manager and would sleep with a lot of the actors she was representing (this is inside info folks).
She picked me up one night I was tending bar at a place called Lola's on Labrea… She was with a group of young actresses that were all very, very attractive.., and Lori, the manager, was just as hot as them all… I stepped out from behind the bar to deliver a tray full of tasty shots I whipped up, just for them.., and when I told them they were on me -- she gave me a look, like I was going to be dessert (it even made ME blush)…
And when the night was coming to an end, these lovely ladies got up to leave… I was kind of shocked -- but instead of leaving with the rest of the girls.., Lori plopped herself down on a bar stool, right in front of me -- with that same look on her face… "I hope you're ready to have some fun tonight…" she said.., and I was instantaneously "standing at attention" if you get my drift…
Here was a woman that -- embraced.., The One-Night Stand… She had way too much going on, to get into a relationship, with a bartender.., but that doesn't mean she couldn't have a good time, for one night.., and then go about her life, with a smile on her face…
As long as there are 2 consenting adults involved, nobody should feel ashamed about expressing their sexuality.., and a One-Night Stand, is an excellent way to that… Being able to release some inhibitions and have a night of ecstasy.., can be thrilling.
Besides the typical downfalls normally related to a One-Night Stand -- someone's feeling getting hurt, stalkers, false promises (liars) and yes, selfish men.., there are some benefits, too -- many men and women enjoy the comfort of strangers, someone outside their social circle they can let their hair down with.., without the typical repercussions the next day -- the rumors floating around the water cooler, etc., etc…
The Upside
It has been documented the night-owls (like a bartender) have a greater disposition towards the One-Night Stand… It seems that night-owls tend to take more risks than, early risers.., and are more prone to casual sex…
There is a certain, specific kind of freedom that comes with The One-Night Stand… Besides the sheer variety of partners one is subjected too.., there is no preconceived ideas of what to expect from each other between the sheets… You can be whoever you want to be, any given night, with any given partner -- and vice versa… It can be extremely liberating for both parties… One night, maybe you are the dominate one.., and the next night she is…
And, if you have been in any kind of long relationship, sex can get boring -- monotonous… I've been there, the same positions, the same time -- the same thing, night after night --
B-O-R-I-N-G! Now, Im not knocking long relationships, we all know the benefits that come along with sharing your life with someone… But getting swept-up in a moment of pure lust is exciting, in a way a "normal" relationship is not…
Knowing you never have to see "this person" again.., lends itself to doing things in bed you might not normally do. It's an adventure to be enjoyed.., and a chance to explore new things…
The rush of chemicals to your your brain, is much like a drug… The immediate boost to your self-confidence, both male and females experience is unlike anything else… And just like most things in life, how you feel about a One-Night Stand, has much to do with your state-of-mind at the time… If you are coming from a bad place, there is good chance you might have a negative feeling about your brief fling… But if you are in a good space, it will only enhance that feeling of inevitability you are already experiencing.
Instead of feeling "degraded" or used.., you feel empowered and self-assured. I mean, lets be honest -- women have sexual desires too… And plenty of them don't want to be bogged down in a relationship at that moment in their lives -- and that's okay… It doesn't make them -- a slut, or any other derogatory term.., it just means they are a human being with urges that can be met without the baggage of a full blown relationship.
Whether you are a fan of the One-Night Stand or not.., is fine. But stereotyping a woman with any of those nasty, demeaning terms is the sign of a small-minded individual. And if you are completely honest with yourself.., it is not only, or always the man that initiates a One-Night Stand. The double-standard that is attached is complete bullshit (excuse my language), but it insinuates that women are weak.., and can be preyed on by the strong male -- once again.., bullshit. All Im saying is -- The One-Night Stand has gotten a bad wrap!
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It was an interesting life story @macksby
It's been fun, that's for sure... :))
Another great story, and interesting concept of keeping things new and exciting.
If a person can't go along with the idea of this level of intimacy with strangers, they might think about just being open to talking to strangers they might never see again, rather than being afraid or too distracted with their devices to reach out for something that more often than not can be enjoyable!
YOLO! Interact with people!
I can attest to that -- interaction is definitely fun!!!
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I completely agree with you, a one night stand can be just the right kind of connection! I don't seem to be built for them and weird as it sounds, I can only find that same freedom in a relationship, (one that's kept alive and thriving, not boring). I'm probably one of those early-riser types ;-), but I don't knock the 1 night thing and never have, clearly it works well for many!
Exactly.., you gotta do what works, for you -- either way!