Are You a CONTROL FREAK… "That's NOT the way to DO IT!!!"

"My way.., or the highway!"

Are You Listening To Me.., Or Are You Just A MORON?!

To start.., there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control -- or being in control… There are even studies that suggest that being in control of trivial things -- what to watch on TV, which restaurant to go to, what shoes to wear today -- is actually beneficial to your well being. And that our desire to be "in control" is even genetically hardwired. Being in control makes us feel good, believing we are not under the control of anyone else.

But too much, of even a good thing -- can bite you in the ass!

Once we cross the line of "being in control" to "being controlling" all those positive aspects suddenly become negative ones… Instead of being beneficial to our well being, it actually makes us less happy and more frustrated. While being "in control" can help us to successfully achieve our goals -- seeking to control others and events can diminish and hinder our successes.

Being a control freak.., almost forces you to surround yourself with 'YES MEN, BROWN-NOSERS, ASS-KISSERS" and inherently reduces the quality of their decision making, since they are now relying on YOU -- JUST YOU.., to make all the proper decisions. When you are a control freak, you are sending clear signals to the rest of the world, that you lack inner control, you fear losing control.., and even have abandonment issues. That by not being in control you risk exposing all your weaknesses, constantly having to defend yourself against your own vulnerabilities…

Being driven to dominate and control others, borders on some psychological disorders, too -- OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, antisocial disorder) and to a lesser degree, perfectionism. When you take the strength of being in control too far, you turn all that positivity into a liability.., a weakness. The constant feeling of having to prove yourself, get your own way -- all the time, takes its toll over time, not only making you miserable but those around you.

This is never more evident.., as in the case of, being the child of controlling parents -- those poor kids are so miserable, having to try and live-up to an unrealistic image their controlling parents have in their mind, that they don't stand a chance at being happy, well-adjusted adults. Or a control freak boss, can wreak havoc, not just on your life, making you feel incompetent and insignificant.., but it can effect the productivity of the business. How about an over-controlling lover.., who lets their low self-esteem manifest itself in ways the belittle and demean you -- when what they really fear is losing you… That you will realize they are not who they pretend to be.., and leave.

Signs You Are A Control Freak

1. Constantly having to micromanage other and events to fit your unrealistic expectations
2. Always correcting people -- because YOU are always right
3. Never admitting you're wrong
4. Road-Rage… Impatience with others on the road
5. Judge others all the time
6. Always have to get the last word
7. You aren't a good team player
8. Trouble maintaing meaningful relationships
9. Lack of compassion
10. You find it impossible to delegate
11. No patience for people who make mistakes

Losing Control

Once again, seeking control or being in control is an admirable quality -- until it's not. There are many paradoxes in life and the "strength/weakness paradox" -- letting your strengths become weaknesses is very real and can have a disastrous effect on your life. Instead of having to control everyone and everything around you, try to be mindful of your words and actions.., and control your emotions. And accept the fact that NOBODY is perfect.., and that it is okay to be vulnerable.

Understand you have about as much control over other people, as you do the weather… That embracing the uncertainty of life is where the magic happens.., and that you are in effect, in control of very little -- be kind, prepared, forthright.., and face whatever happens, whatever comes your way -- with an open mind and heart.


REFERENCE:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2944661

Image Source: 1 2