The Aftershock

It had been about two months since I felt the ground was trembling. For some reason, I am still feeling, even dreaming about it. I tried and tried to tell myself that nothing is happening. I even have a daily mantra, “ I am currently living in a safe place”.

Upon returning to my flat, I often ask my housemate if there is an earthquake or whether they feel it like I do. Sometimes, I rise up abruptly from my chair because I feel there’s an earthquake. Yet, I see my housemates leisurely passing by my room as if nothing is happening.

I was also compulsively checking the earthquake report only to convince myself that there’s no earthquake. Sometimes I am seeing objects in my room as if they were moving. I don’t know, I can’t sleep properly with the earthquake situation haunting me.

Then, it worsen when I read about the tsunami that happened just a while back. From that moment, every night, I keep dreaming about earthquake. In my dreams, I was always learning how to survive during that situation. Sometimes it was too vivid that I woke up thinking there was an earthquake.

Sometimes I assure myself with prepping. It seems to be one of the ways that helps me through my feeling. I also think several plans just in case anything happen. I even wonder if it’s safe to store my data digitally. I am quite skeptical but hey, maybe it’s one of the ways.

I think people in the major affected area experience worse situation than I do. They might not be able to shake the feeling even months. Perhaps, they might be haunted of it too, like I experienced. I only wish they will get a proper psychological treatment besides their daily needs.

Now, I have stopped checking the news especially when it’s related to natural disaster. I stopped checking the earthquake website and also keep telling myself to prepare for any kind of situation. It doesn’t matter whether it’s natural disaster or other things.