Why Do We Not Say What Needs to Be Said?
I read a story today of a CEO who was addressing his new company. The company manufactured allergy medications that the CEO and his wife had used for years. The gentleman was pining for the right words to say before his new coworkers, and thought a simple business plan was the ticket.
There is nothing wrong with this idea, as the CEO's friend pointed out to him. The thing is, there is no emotional attachment to such a talk. Yes, there needs to be direction in the company, especially with new leadership. Yet, what is the motivation for the employees to come to work each day?
The CEO's friend ask him a plain question. "Why do you believe in these products?"
The CEO went on to explain that his wife had a unique allergy. They had tried many other products but none of them allowed her to enjoy their children's social events - the medications did not last long enough. He joined the company because of his wife's experience with the product.
His friend smiled, and responded, "Why don't you just tell that story?
Sharing Our Vulnerability
What is our most common response to the question, "How are you?" The answer is, "good."
What does that do for our listener? It encourages them to respond the same. There are friends that we open up to beyond this question, but those friends are so few any more. The world is incredibly "social", and yet distant as a galaxy.
The story of the CEO struck me because it sounds like our everyday conversations. We become so comfortable with images and perfection on our screens, that we believe we must follow along. There is more of an emphasis on what others see, versus revealing what we know to be true.
I am not saying that everyone deserves to hear more about our lives. Some folks don't what to hear your problems - they are more concerned with their own. We ought to be gracious and consider that other folks may have it worse than us.
My point is, we are usually lying to ourselves when we tell people we are "good."
The CEO in our story was not necessarily lying to his coworkers, but he was working to keep an image that did not leave him vulnerable. In order for us to love, we must be vulnerable. It is impossible for others to love and care for us, unless we show our vulnerability.
It is a dark and dreary path we tread upon when we lie to ourselves. The journey is certainly the choice of two paths, but it is not the path less traveled. There are many people there with you, but they are not looking at you - they are looking at their own image.
It takes guts to admit who we are. The easier choice is to say we are like every one else, and doing just fine. The thing is, if we live lives like everyone else, we will die with regrets - our uniqueness demands a life that is abnormal.
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Thanks for reminding me that I need to tell the story of why I invented, designed, and created the product I produce. ;) 😄😇😄
Haha. Happy to be a reminder. ;)
great post another thing i want to add is that for example some people reply ''good'' because either they just dont want to tell us more,or they hate us or even thats how their personality is
That is a good addition. You're right, some people are like that.
When people ask how I am, I say "alright". Hehe. Not good or bad, just what is. Stimulus is required to generate a positive or negative processing of reality. Most of time things are just as they are, content and neutral ;)
Haha. That is a gentleman's response. It drives some gals mad, and oh how fun that is. ;)
I have learned in writing that when you are closest to feeing foolish and vulnerable, you're closest to being real. Having your own voice is having the courage to endure that tension and to speak your truth even though your voice is shaking
I can hear John Wayne now. :)
love it! Never saw that quote before. Nice!