Avoiding an Argument
Arguments are the best thing in the world are they not? They always build up and encourage. There are never any feelings hurt or relationships broken (the sarcasm is heavy in those two sentences). Arguments are not easy, and some personalities run from them at all costs. Others enjoy a good argument, and never see the person they just trampled to win the argument. Yet, differences in opinion will always exist. There are a few ways to live peacefully with those you disagree with, (as far as it depends on you anyway).
1- LET THEM STATE THEIR CASE - DON'T INTERRUPT
Have you ever noticed that we have 2 ears and 1 mouth? One of the hardest things to do is hold back our opinion when it will surely sway the conversation in a positive direction. Yet, one of the most flattering things we can do for people is appreciate their opinion. How do we do that? We listen to their perspective AND WAIT TILL THEY FINISH. This is a nice segue for #2.
2- PAUSE BEFORE YOU ANSWER
This is similar to #1, and adds a valuable piece to the puzzle. When you pause before answering an individual, it confirms that you heard them. Have you ever noticed the look on your conversation partners face when you pause before answering them? They realize that you are interested in what they had to say, and are taking the time to give a quality response.
3- DON'T INSIST ON BEING RIGHT 100%
This is a hard one for me. I'm one of those intellectual types and think I know better than the next person. If there is one thing I have found, though, friends do not stick around when they know you don't want to listen. We learn something new every day - it only happens when we listen.
4- SPEAK THROUGH THIRD PERSONS - SPEAK IN STORIES
My grandmother is the best at this principle. Whether the disagreement is between two other people in the room, or she senses some tension between her and an individual, she tells a story. The story is not something she concocts on the spot, it is in regards to a friend or family member that relates to the situation she is in. I remember one such instance when her and I were disagreeing about alcohol consumption. She told me about a man who had a chemical imbalance in his body that led him to seek out alcohol. I am a health nut and the story intrigued me from the get-go. As she kept talking I realized she was using this man's story to talk to me. It was a powerful way to bring her point before me without screaming in my face.
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awesome article and reminder !
You are so generous. Thank you.
2 ears! Only one mouth 🙄🤗
Haha, that is so true.
Thank you for posting @lydon.sipe.
Lovely post with very good suggestions. Being a good listener will go far with any relationship. Yes...grandmothers have learned a thing or two over the years. It may have been Dr Phil who suggested that couples when having a discussion try holding hands...he found that it was practically impossible for them to raise their voices when trying his suggestion...just a thought. ^_^
And then there is always .....'Time for tea'.
Appreciated the opportunity to think on these things.
All the best to you and @mustardseed. Cheers.
I always enjoy your intuitive and encouraging remarks @bleujay.
Yes, grandmothers know a thing or two about positively effecting the relationships around them. I like the Dr. Phil suggestion - never heard that before.
@mustardseed and I are quite well. Thank you. Mighty blessings upon you this night.
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Good post Sir. I like it.
I think we could learn a lot from the Asian concept of not losing face. IOW it is better to build up than simply tear down. I mean really aren't we more interested in conveying a certain idea than "winning" an argument. I know I am.