There Is Nothing Constructive About Blaming Others For Your Problems

Everyone I know hates it when somebody complains about something - and for many reasons. If someone is critical or negative, the response is generally - That's just the way it is. Sometimes that criticism actually means something, but it's not always the case. There is a difference between being critical of someone else and blaming them for the outcome of their actions or choices.

Other times, the other person's response might be completely justified. There is nothing constructive about putting down another person because they didn't do the best they could, or because the situation required them to change something. The focus should be on improving instead of doing the other person a favor by blaming them for the outcome.

A very easy mistake to make is to assume that the criticism is actually about the current situation. The implication is that whatever was wrong is the fault of the person who said it. That simply isn't true. Sometimes, criticism of a certain action or failure is justifiable. But in other cases, the criticism is related to the impact of the whole situation on the other person.

Sometimes the overall life style of the other person has something to do with the decision making process. Is the person selfish? Do they neglect others? Do they lie or cheat?

There are reasons why the same person may choose the same lifestyle as another person and have nothing to do with their selfishness or other character flaws. It doesn't mean that you can take away the circumstances from that person and assume they will choose differently if you don't. You just have to wait for that person to let their own situation show and then work from there.

Other times, there is a reason that a person can only handle specific situations in the same way as everyone else. Maybe they have worked hard to get to where they are, and they just don't have the resources for additional changes. This could be why they only manage to get their finances in order, because they're focused on their budget and not their emotions.

Every person is different and experiences different circumstances in life. No one can make anyone else think or act a certain way. You must accept this. People complain about what other people do all the time. There is nothing constructive about that. People also complain about bad decisions that are their own. But the thing that should be noted is that any critique is based on the underlying situation and the underlying choices that have been made.