The Difficulty of Sharing A Difficult Story (And why it's worth sharing)

in life •  3 years ago 

Every time something crazy happened during our on the run adventures, John and I would remark on how it'd make a good story to share later on.  The closer we got to the border the crazier our stories got.  What made everything even more insane was the fact that despite all odds against us, we kept making it out to move onto the next task in our adventure that was being on the run and headed to Mexico.  All of this considered, one would expect it to be easy to write about and share these things, considering they're so interesting . Something I've found since working on sharing our story is that these things are a lot harder to share than I expected. 

We decided when we were on the run that we intended to tell our story.  At it's root, this is to prevent anyone else like us from going through the same things we did.  It's to show people that you don't need to have a lot to leave the country.  While it can be depressing its an inspiring story, of two young people that defied the odds and made it to freedom, a story not so commonly told anymore. The craziness of our story makes it worth working through the fact that it's heavy content a lot easier, as there's an entertaining spin to the story as well.  

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.” -Mark Twain

Our story, while crazy, is entirely true.  Everything we've shared has been true to the best of our memory.  The gardening articles are actually featuring things I'm growing; the food articles are things I'm making and eating, selling or both. John's story before me is a book in itself and he's recently found himself having a hard time telling his story, as it's not pleasant to relive such hard times.  Our story about being on the run is true, as I'm not sure I could make up some of the things that have happened.  Part of what got me posting about things other than our story was the fact that writing became hard as I realized my memories are muddled from the very stressful situation.  These other things were things I've always planned to write about, so I mix it up for both myself and readers. While it all makes an entertaining story now, it's not easy to tell that story as the person who has lived through the experience.  

Reliving something that was emotionally stressful, or stressful in any manner can be difficult.  Old feelings are brought up and it's often an emotional experience. I've had to walk away from many articles due to becoming emotional. I remember the amount of fear and uncertainty I felt throughout most of the experience, as I was both on the run and in an unhappy relationship, with someone who had about enough. The stress of the situation was really almost too much to handle, and in some ways we are still stressed.  There is always the possibility that they could come after us, something terrible to think about.  Money troubles are ever present, as we try to make our new life here in Acapulco work, coming from a position of debt.  

I wish I would have kept a journal, if of nothing else but bullet points to list events in exact order for later purposes, of the journey.  It would make this process much easier. Considering the fact that we planned on writing about it the whole time (either in blog, book form or both), I should have considered that but I didn't.  I find it frustrating that my memory fails me so much on events that were so important in my life.  I know what happened, obviously, but specific details that make stories more real really fail me when attempting to share another chapter in our difficult story. 

There is the fact that we are more at risk in some ways by sharing our story.  Realistically we could have moved here and lived out the rest of our lives under new identities, never having an issue here. There is the small chance of something stupid happening, nothing that matters.  We decided it was worth the risk of sharing our story as we understand that other people can learn a lot from what we've went through. As there are many facets to our story, we have something to offer everyone of value from sharing one thing or another about our lives. Some people like my blog for the gardening and food articles, wheras I've heard others are strictly interested in the ones about living in Mexico.  I do have some that read everything I post but for the most part, our range of interests serves us well in terms of blogging. 

Something we considered is there's always the risk of them coming after us, we determined we'd rather people know our story in the case that we do get apprehended. Distance and the place we chose to move makes it so it's not very likely, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It all comes down to cost and I've made the cost pretty high at this point for a reason.  Having a public face makes that cost higher in several ways, which works to my advantage. After all, at the end of the day, I'm not in their territory breaking their laws anymore.

Sharing a difficult time has been pretty difficult indeed.  As memory fails and emotions are heightened, it makes for a tough experience that can some times veer me from writing for a day or so.  The fact that the direct articles about our story don't always do so well monetarily doesn't help, as it almost feels like you're doing it for nothing.  At the end of the day, even if it's only 50 upvotes, that's 50 people that have heard my story.  That's 50 people who could consider their own lives and the roles they play in them.  That sort of thing makes it worth it and keeps me going. 

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Wonderful! beautiful words that has been used in the development of post congratulations, thanks @ lily-da-vine to share another beautiful post

I love your stories and the variety of topics. By getting them recorded now, your memories are clearer than if you were trying to remember it next year so don't beat yourself up about not making a diary then. You are recording it now.

Even if some posts don't earn so much, creating a network of people that know and care about you seems worthwhile. And very few people are interested in the totality of anyone's life, so even though many of us may connect with some of your posts more than others, it's still a connection. And all that may pay off, in one form or another, down the road. Best of luck with all of it.