I just need a hug, no words, no talks, no conversation, just a hug

These past few days, I've been experiencing too much sorrow that lead me to welcome suicidal thoughts. Negative thoughts came devoured me from the inside which later on affected the outside me.

These made me more of a nocturnal being for night became my favorite part of the day. My acne started to breakout and eyebags began to form.

I can't even think well which did affect my usual deeds. I really am so down that I can't even make a single genuine smile but it's funny how easy to fake smiles tho.

Is it because all of my problems were mixed together and those things inside my head seemed to explode anytime that made me as feel down as hell .

Problems, Tasks overload, schoolworks, commissions, family, financial aspects, love things, past things, and a lot more.

As i am walking on my journey, I encountered misery and despair and left some words to me. They said there are a lot of challenges ahead on my way.

I later became friends with sadness which let me burst these things out and cry these things off me, I also used to hangout with regrets sometimes and we sincerely talked about the things I shouldn't have done before, which also guilt used to say when we talk.

Together with Tasks and stress we enjoyed working together though it's hard.

Grief and memories also came over and made me reminisce the things that happened from the past, it seemed like a throwback sunday which included the memories of my brother who died 2 years ago on February 14. Yes 3 days from now, A very big Valentines day which is also my parents's wedding anniversary and as well as our anniversary with my girlfriend.

I missed him so much :'(

I then had serious moments with love and pain. It's funny how they can be so close together which is very usual to see. They let me experience both when the one I love and me had misunderstandings and cool ourselves for the meantime.

I love her so much that I can give up the things I usually do just to be with her. Few days from now is valentines day and we are still not in good terms :'( i dont know what to do.

All these things came over to my house and party. They went crazy and wild we were happy then but they betrayed me. The left me hanging, leaving those things on my back.

It was heavy.

It really is.

I can't handle it anymore.

Can someone help me carry these burdens?

It's very hard to move, especially those people I expected to be with me, carrying these things left me anyway. And it became heavier hearing judgements from people who can't understand.

I am crying.

Crying it all out for me to feel better but it became more difficult since another visitor (problems) come over as the days pass by.

Hoping I would wake up from this nightmare.

when will I wake up?

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Despites of the thoughts killing me,

I decided to post on steemit, not to seek for attention, but to seek for suggestions and motivations not to give up.

https://steemit.com/philippines/@ligarayk/i-am-not-me-anymore

I thought I was only be scrolled down on the feed but I was wrong. I was shocked to see these people shared their empathy with me and gave their motivations for me.

To maam @samic, you are a good person maam :') thank you for giving such an inspiring and motivating comment :') and for chatting mr @surpassinggoogle about me :) thank you very much 😊

I was overwhelmed also when one of the most iconic personality here in steemit commented on my post. Mr @surpassinggoogle you are such a very amazing person! :)

He just offerend me to chat him on fb which I consider myself lucky enough to have him as an inspiration in steemit. I am very happy.

But I was more overwhelmed when I saw mr @surpassinggoogle's latest post. As i went through his post, I wasn't expecting to see my name to be featured on the last part of his blog.

Here's the link: https://steemit.com/teardrops/@surpassinggoogle/teardrops-when-an-imaginary-smart-media-token-is-already-heartily-exchanged-then-it-is-historical-history-i-am-grateful

In his post, aside from giving inspirational words to other people, He also encouraged other people to see my post and give some motivations for me :')

And because of him, a lot of good people went through my post and commented their very inspiring suggestions for me :')

To all the people who commented :') thank you very much! 😊😊

Thank you also for mr @joecxt and mr @nexrules for sharing their blessings to me :')

they sent each 1 sbd to me without asking anything in return :') thank you very much 😊

And to mr @surpassinggoogle :') Thank you very much sir! :)

Here are some of our convo in fb :) he is very generous :)

These problems I am carrying right now don't need to be gone, just like what mr @surpassinggoogle said, but I will do my best to solve them, not now but maybe sooner or later.

I know I am not the only one who's suffering and fighting against depression here and I will show them why we should cope up with the challenges in life, for life itself is already a challenge. I will show them my rise again :') soon.

And btw here's the process how i made my drawing :)

Once again thank you for motivating me guys! :') Especially to mr @Surpassinggoogle! :') please contine inspiring people sir! :)

And to my girlfriend, Im sorry :'( I love you ❤and I miss you :'( #

Conclusion

Life may be hard sometimes and sometimes we come to the point of giving up but always remember, "life is like a wheel, Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down"

If life fvcks you up, don't give up!

I should keep moving despite of the challenges I am facing :)

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Please do support mr @surpassinggoogle by voting his witness, simply visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" into the first search box for witnesses.

Special thanks also to @Steemph.cebu! For the all time support

Thank you guys for spending your time :')

@ligarayk