Uganda Wedding

There are a few things that Ugandans will never understand about the things that I do. They are as follows:

**They don’t understand that if I am running, it is possible that I am not running somewhere or from someone but simply running for exercise. Since I have been here for a good 2 ½ weeks and since I run almost every day you would think they would catch on… but no. Whenever they see me they always say, “Muzungu, where are you going?” And I say, “Nziruka.” Which means, I am running. And they look at me like I am crazy. I think that they think I am running from someone, like a Ugandan is chasing me and I am beating them. Ha. Either that or they think I am just a stubborn Muzungu and don’t want to take public transport. Either way it makes laughs.

**Ugandans also have a hard time understanding the fact that we white people are capable of doing things that they do. (i.e. cooking, walking places, getting dirty) After I painted my front room, my neighbor came in and was astounded. She said, “You know how to paint! Where did you learn?” And I thought for a second, and then was like, “I guess I just know how.” Because really, is that something that you are taught? It wasn’t a mural by the way, just painted the whole dang thing orange.

**They also don’t seem to understand how it is possible that I am still alive and yet I don’t cook Matooke (cooked bananas, which is their staple food). Ugandans have two things they eat food and sauce. Food consists of the following items: Rice, Posho, Matooke. These are the only things that are food in Ugandan culture, nothing else. So many times they say, “But you don’t eat food.” It’s funny. Everything else is sauce, which usually is bean sauce, pea sauce, or meat/fish sauce. And although this country is chocked full of fruit, Ugandans never eat fruit with their meals. It is only eaten as a snack between meals and they find it strange that I pile pineapple onto my plate at night. I end up making bean sauce a lot of the time, but I have figured out how to make American food (pasta, veggie burgers, soup) with ingredients here so I usually just eat those things.

One thing that is very different about Uganda is that they keep time by the sun as opposed by the clock. This doesn’t mean that they use the sun to tell time, but that they call the first hour that the sun is up 1 o’clock. Since I live on the equator, sunrise and sunset basically stay the same throughout the year. Convenient. This means that 7 is 1, 8 is 2, 9 is 3, etc. Basically if you look a the time right now and then look at the number opposite of it on the clock you know the Ugandan time. But this can be very confusing at times, because I never know if they are speaking in Ugandan time or in American time because they think I don’t understand Ugandan time. Usually I can tell which one they are telling me based on what the activity is, but I was invited to a wedding and the man told me it started at exactly 11. Which in American time would mean it probably actually will start at 2 in the afternoon, and in Ugandan time it will start at 3 in the evening (9pm American time). Since both options were feasible, I had to ask one of the workers at my school if he knew what time the wedding started. Lucky for me he did, and it was supposed to start at 11 Ugandan time (i.e. 5pm American time). The wedding actually started at 7 which is to be expected here. J

Ugandans still have traditional weddings where the grooms fathers must bring things to the brides family in exchange for her daughter. Because as they have children their children will have the clan name of the father (not the mother) and therefore his tribe will grow in size. Interestingly enough, in Uganda there are 40 some-odd clans all represented by different things in nature (grasshopper, bushbuck, fish, etc.) and you can not marry someone in your own clan. I thought this was strange because it seems like clans would want to marry within themselves, but when I inquired they said it was to keep the people strong so inbreeding didn’t happen. Fascinating.

The wedding was a blast. I was introduced to the whole group of around 800 people as a representative from Barack Obamas Cabinet. Ha! It was very embarrassing because first they introduced the local chairperson, then someone from local parliament, and then me, as though I am someone of importance. Everyone cheered when they made that announcement, thank god for Barack Obama! (It’s nice to have a president that is loved elsewhere in the world, especially in Africa. Kind of a new thing for us Americans.) The reception took place outdoors under the starlit sky and a full moon. It was very similar to an American wedding in many ways but there were a few obvious differences. First being that the father and mother of the bride are not allowed to attend because they are the ones who are giving their daughter away. I thought that was such a tragedy. A mother never gets to see her daughter get married! Halfway through the reception the bride changed out of her white wedding dress into more traditional garb. After she did this, she was supposed to come back in and dance with her husband. Apparently in Ugandan tradition, the husband changes and then comes back and hides in the audience of 800 people before the bride comes back. When she comes back, by golly she can’t find her husband! So they put on some bumping music and she goes around asking people she trusts where her husband is hiding. Most of them steer her in the wrong direction until finally she finds him amongst the crowd. It was fun to watch! Another difference with Ugandan weddings is that each person presents the newlywed couple with a gift, as opposed to just setting it on the table with a card. It is a whole long process (what isn’t in this country?) whereby music is played and everyone gets in somewhat of a conga line and starts dancing their way to the bride and groom who are standing at the front. Once someone reaches them they dance for a moment and fake give the present to the groom, playing around with him and also dancing with him, and then they hand over the present for real and the couple show their appreciation.

One thing that I found interesting was that the bride still had to kneel. That is actually something I haven’t talked about yet in my blogs. Women and children here kneel to people who they respect, which include husbands, elders, teachers, etc. Whenever I am running and greet a child they will often drop to their knees and respond. At first it was something that blew me away, but I have actually gotten used to it now. In my host family, all of the children (who were in their 20’s!!) kneeled to their mother when greeting her in the morning, before getting her food, and whenever they returned from school. I think that it is respectful for children to kneel to elders and people that they respect but I find it a bit disheartening when I see grown women doing it. It is as though they are below the men and that disturbs me. Back to the wedding, the bride was kneeling in this huge wedding gown that was already too long for her and all I could feel was pity. After they cut the cake she even came over to me, kneeled down and presented me with a piece. Wow, did I feel like a jerk. At your wedding people should be kneeling to you, not the other way around. Just like everything else here, it’s just something I will have to get used to.

After all of the traditional hoopla there was a massive dance party, of which I obviously participated. Everyone was surprised that the muzungu could dance. Ha. Moses (the 35 year old driver at the school and one of my closest friends) went to the wedding with me and therefore guarded me on the dance floor. After three or four songs we just had to leave because people (i.e. teenage boys who had probably been drinking) were getting a little too pushy and aggressive with me. Boys always ruin the fun. But overall, the wedding was wonderful and I loved being able to see a little part of Ugandan culture.