The One Word You Use Which Makes You Sound Stupid

Did you know there's a word you use that makes you sound quite dumb?

It's true.

In reality, there are a lot of words that may give people a bad impression about you, but this one, in particular, makes you sound very unprofessional, and, well, stupid.

The word is "um."

So what's the big deal about the word "um"?

Sheryl Sandberg of Google

Kim Scott tells of a particular conversation she had with Sheryl Sandberg. Sandberg is currently the COO at Facebook, but at the time she was an executive at Google.

Kim Scott had just finished giving a presentation about Adwords to the big bosses at Google—Larry, Sergey, and Eric, and was feeling pretty good about herself. She felt like she did a great job.

"You said 'um' a lot," Sandberg told her as she took her for a walk after the meeting. Scott didn't understand the impact of her verbal tic and kept downplaying its significance.

"You know, Kim, I can tell I'm not really getting through to you. I'm going to have to be clearer here. When you say 'um' every third word, it makes you sound stupid,'" Scott said in the blog post.

That hit home. Scott ended up taking her advice to hire a speaking coach so she could eliminate the word.

Let me add to the counsel of Sandberg: using the word "um" makes you sound very stupid. Dumb. It makes you sound juvenile. But there's even more.

Why do we say um?

Have you ever wondered why we say "um"? And, by the way, it seems men use the word "uh" more than "um," but that's not any better. Those words are verbal fillers. It's words we use when we don't know what to say; when we're searching for the right word.

As a professional public speaker, the bottom line is we use those words because we're unprepared. Period. Full stop.

Now come back with me in your imagination. Have you ever had to give a presentation at your job? Did you ever use the word "um" or "uh"? Do you ever use those words in private "off stage" conversations? Probably. But for most people, those words have become so ingrained into our way of speaking that we no longer notice them.

But let's be clear: everyone around you notices. And it makes you sound stupid. It makes you sound unprepared. Yes, people will judge your abilities based on how you present yourself publicly.

Perhaps, because of your verbal tics and fillers, your company will decide not to promote you to the more public position with more authority.

Perhaps, your employers will decide that you shouldn't be the one to meet with the important client in Paris.

Perhaps, the manager will decide you should not be the one out front because people will judge the company, based on what you sound like.

Are you catching the impact?

What can we do about saying um?

You need to excise the word from your vocabulary. Throw it away. Never use it again. But how can you make this a practice?

First, you need to record talks and presentations you give. Yes, I'm counseling you to record that two-minute update you do at the staff meeting. Or if you have a bigger presentation—wonderful!—record that. Record the audio on your smart phone, and when you're alone, take some time and listen to it. You'll be surprised at how often you use the word.

Second, because those words are often evidence of nervousness which comes from a lack of preparation, you need to prepare better. Write out what you're going to say ahead of time. But don't memorize it. Internalize. Practice. Know and understand the main sections you'll address.

I've noticed for myself that if I'm very well prepared, I know exactly where I'm going, and I'm not tempted to use those filler words.

What word should we use instead?

There will come a time in which, though you have prepared, you will be tempted to use the word "um." Perhaps someone asks you a question you don't know the answer to. Perhaps you're sharing a fresh point that comes to your mind while speaking, and you feel like you should use it.

What should you use instead?

Nothing. Just pause. That's it. The problem with this is that many people are afraid of silence. We don't like to let silence hang in the air. But don't be afraid. When you pause in silence, people will internally lean forward and pay attention to what you'll say next. That's a good thing.

I'll close by saying that the senior pastor I work with, he has completely removed the word from his vocabulary. I've been working with him for six years, and I've never heard him utter the word. Never when he's presenting a sermon publicly to the thousands who will listen, and never when it's private "off stage" conversation with two people. And as a result, he comes across as very intelligent, credible, and professional.

Work on removing that word from your vocabulary and people around you will also begin to look at you as being more intelligent, credible, and professional as well.

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So what about you? Do you use any verbal fillers in your vocabulary? Share in the comments below.