How to deal with negative remarks

in #life6 years ago

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Hi guys. We deal with different kinds of people in our lives everyday and some of them make you want to get violent or feel depressed. I’ll like to share how deal with negative remarks from people and I hope it works for you. We all have different temperaments and different level of tolerance but just read through this. It might just work for you
Negative things people say about you are of mainly two types
-the ones that are true
-the ones that are false

When’s its True

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These are the most hurtful ones and are the hardest to ignore. The thing is if what they are saying about you is true and affects you so much, then why not just try to fix it. If someone calls you fat and it makes you feel sad cos you are indeed fat, it’s either you are comfortable with your size or you are not.
If you are comfortable with it, then you definitely shouldn’t get mad when someone points its out. Will you get annoyed if someone insults you by saying “you are annoyingly attractive”. Because everyone likes to be seen as attractive. Same should apply when someone calls you fat when you’re okay with it.
If on the other hand you are not comfortable with it, then the mantle rests on you to try to fix it so it cannot be used as a weapon on you again. Even if it takes some time fixing it, as long as you know you are working on it, the insults won’t hit as hard
On the other hand if it’s something you can’t change like your height or skin colour, then you have to first accept yourself for who you are. Remember if you are comfortable in your own skin, then someone trying to make you feel bad will only be wasting their time.

When it’s False

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This is a little easier to deal with. I personally find humour in seeing something go on talking about me when they are totally wrong. Firstly, it makes me feel important having someone dedicate their time trying to hurt me and coming back with wrong facts. It might become a problem if what they are saying is changing someone else’s view about you like your ex insulting you calling you a liar with your new girlfriend/boyfriend beside you. It becomes your own job to prove them wrong and let the third party deduce their own views about you from you and not from a bitter person.

The first thing you should do when someone starts hurling insults your way is to calm yourself, try not to reply immediately if you’re going to reply at all. Things said in a hurry can be regretted later. So, when they come for you, you have to ask yourself:

IS THIS PERSON REALLY WORTH IT?


post written by @adesola-td, edited and posted by @camzy


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