If You're Going to do Crazy Things "For the Story" Remember to Write Them Down.

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I used to have this crazy idea that I was going to be the next Hunter. S. Thompson, hilariously documenting my insane drug-fueled youth.

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First off, I suggest you just throw that plan away if you have it. I now have serious memory issues and will probably die a lot younger than you thanks to years of hardcore drug use. However, if you are absolutely determined like silly little teenage and early 20's Laura Lemons was then take my advice and record the experiences. A tape recorder would be ideal and then you can write it out later. I didn't do this. I just told myself I would one day write about all the wildness and then 8 years later realized I hadn't recorded anything and likely could not write a single book. You don't really remember things that happened when you were drugged out of your mind.

I do remember some stuff. I remember being friends with some crazy characters. I remember certain incredibly memorable drug nights. Like the time I accidentally took 8 hits of acid instead of 4 and the time I accidentally took 10 hits of acid while already on DXM. I remember that stuff but it wasn't the good stuff. Both times I was jolted into a very scary experience. Actually though....the time I did 8 hits I DID think I figured out the entire universe and felt convinced of an afterlife...for about 1 minute. Then I struggled to remember and recapture the knowledge but it slipped away and I felt a loss. The time I did 10 I don't even want to talk about...It was really bad...be careful who you trip with guys.

I still have a scar from the time that my slightly crazy, super goth friend said she would like me, her, and my boyfriend at the time to all drink each other's blood out of wine glasses for her birthday. We did it. THAT was really stupid and I am lucky to have no repercussions. That girl carelessly got around sexually and so did I at the time honestly. How do I not have any STDs? One STD scare but none to date. Now I am abstinent so not a thing I have to worry about. Wear protection folks. Don't be me.

The DXM days...boy I had a lot of those. Almost killed me once or twice. I should have recorded those but alas...I did not. I remember one time I did a lot of DXM and was riding in a friend's car in the back seat but what I saw was completely open space. We were driving on a flat disc and so were all the cars around us. I could see the people in the other cars just sitting on these flat discs. It was a bit overwhelming. I vomited in a gift bag and lost my ability to speak.

"I speak words" was what I finally managed to say after hours of silence.

Another time when I was on DXM I was convinced I was a pillow. I was very frustrated because the person I was with at the time was able to drink water and smoke cigarettes but I couldn't because I was a pillow. And not just a pillow, a pillow that was attached to some sort of conveyor belt attached to the very top of the wall going around and around the room. At some point the person I was with tried to get me to speak and I was able to force myself into being a person again. Relief. Cigarettes.

So the moral of this rant is to remember to write it down if you want it to be a book

and also...it's probably best to stick to only hallucinogens if you want to do drugs.