I share, therefore I am
When we discuss the dangers of social media, one of the first things to come up is that people are happy to relinquish their privacy without a thought. A valid point if we think about Big Brother knowing everything about you, but what kind of privacy are we talking about?
This is how privacy is defined on Wikipedia:
'Privacy is the ability of an individual or group to seclude themselves, or information about themselves, and thereby express themselves selectively. (...) When something is private to a person, it usually means that something is inherently special or sensitive to them.'
If you don't feel that you should keep to yourself certain information, than it isn't private.
This constant pressure to share everything, in real time preferably, is destroying privacy altogether.
Privacy used to be about setting boundaries, but social media is all about taking boundaries down in a mad rush to outdo each other. Years of constant use of social media train the brain that all can and must be shared – from the selfie taken on holiday to the photos of your romantic date. If there's the smallest thing you can share, you share. Instantly. There are over 95 million photos and videos posted on Instagram each day.
What you don't feel comfortable sharing on Instagram, you can at least send to your close friends on WhatsApp or Messenger – there's no harm in that, surely. Spending the night with a guy - you can post a picture of the romantic meal with candles and champagne on one or all of your accounts. While you fret over the perfect picture and loading and watching the reactions, the romance is gone. Your mind is no longer there to enjoy that special moment. It was supposed to be your private moment, but it isn't any longer.
I know I might sound old school or too romantic, but what happened to holding hands and looking in their eyes or whispering sweet nothings into their ears? Not much chance of that if you're checking the lights for the perfect couple selfie. All your friends will know you're on a date and having a wonderful time, except that you're not. When you're having a wonderful time with the one you love there's no time to take selfies. That 'feeling in love with' status is just as fake as your tan.
There used to be a time when you'd meet with your best friends the next day and tell them everything over a cup of coffee. 'It was so romantic!' Nowadays, your best friends are virtually there with you – they can see pictures of the place and the guy in real time.
Than there's the scourge of constant texting – a quick update while your date goes to the bathroom: 'We kissed. We're on second base going soon to third. Oops, he's back. Talk later.'
And no, I'm not exaggerating and I'm not making this up – I've actually witnessed such an exchange. Going back to the definition of privacy – something that is special – if the first night out with a new guy is not special I don't know what is!
I was going to be sarcastic and wonder if it's OK to share images of a very intimate nature so your friends can be jealous, but I'm afraid to know the answer. Even people my age have the tendency to overshare, so I don't want to know what's the norm among the younger generations. (I think I might have on my laptop pictures of a friend's boyfriend in his underwear, making breakfast on what was supposedly a romantic getaway.)
Again, if you have no problem sharing a moment, that's not a special moment to you.
The saddest part is that is usually people with not much of a real life who feel the need to compensate by oversharing, just to make up for the perceived lack of glamour and excitement. The old I think, therefore I am now translates into 'I share, therefore I am'.
It's not only about romantic moments – I know of people checking-in at church on Sunday. That should also be private – you seeking guidance and comfort in the word of God. If your mind is set on updating your status, excuse me if I don't think you value the spiritual experience too much. That moment loses any meaning when you go on Facebook.
In the age of social media, a life nobody sees or knows about is not worth living anymore, but what kind of life is that if you're spending it under public scrutiny?
Thanks for reading
Images: 1,3
Well, for some people, they share almost everything to make up for the emptiness within; some do out of competition with their friends; some others do so to create a facade. Some are however sincere about sharing their lives with the virtual world.
Yes, I entirely agree with that. When you are really having a wonderful time, you don't want to waste it taking selfies.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
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I've given this a lot of thought, myself. Actually, it's the reason, or one of the many reasons, why I deleted my Facebook profile going on six/seven years ago now. I haven't had an active online presence anywhere since. Never took to Instagram or Snapchat or any of the photo apps. Most of the stuff that came after Facebook has been all but lost on me. And this is coming from someone who was in their very early 20's when Facebook did become popular. I believe my first experience with social media was actually Myspace.
I believe you've taken a negative tone and viewpoint with addressing this, but I do also totally get it, and I get why you would. There's a lot that's alarming, off-putting, disingenuous about social media and the way people tend to use it. Maybe it's that by nature people are competitive. That's surely true. There's a lot of reasons. I think we're now moving so fast with technology as it evolves that maybe on a larger scale as societies we aren't taking the time to step back and question the why and how of the ways we're utilizing it and how we're engaging with it.
And with that said, I think there is a lot of positive in the connectivity that we have available nowadays. But in the process of having instant and 24/7 access to anyone anywhere, we've become detached in the more real-time ways of living and interacting. That's so true, and you're so right about that. And what's even more alarming about the younger generation, and I'm speaking of the generation even younger than myself, those born with smart phones in their hands by the age of 5, they have no concept of privacy as any of us older ones have ever known it to be defined. It's something entirely different in their eyes. And that does to me seem like a dangerous thing for their own futures and the future that we all will know.
I've heard it said that in a lifetime we can only truly manage around 100 human contacts at a time, and that's just the very basic contact of knowing they exist at all and realizing we're connected to them. But with the internet that's completely expanded to the entire world. There's just no way we can reasonably manage it all.
I think the bottom line is that it's a technology that's benign in itself, and it becomes what we make of it. It's up to you how you use it. So if you have children, or if it rubs you wrong regarding your spiritual leanings, it's valid that you'd try to address that with your loved ones and change accordingly. But yes, you're right, you've made some valid points, and I do agree. The world is just changing so very fast before us.