A walk in the park - sort of...
Let me say from the very beginning that motherhood is my career of choice. I've never had any doubts about this, never felt tired of it or bored to be spending so much time around children and not having much of a social life.
In my little corner of the universe, if my kids are OK, things are fine. It's that simple.
All this being said, I was surprised to discover this summer that for the first time in 18 years I've come to the point where I can actually relax and not worry every single moment about one or both of my children.
The first time I've felt it was while I was with my nine years old son in the park. The biggest and most beautiful park in the city, where I've taken my kids like hundreds of times over the years. For the first time ever, I found myself relaxing on a bench while he was busy in a one of the play areas.
I'm doing my best not to overprotective, but up to now I've always felt the need to keep an eye on him, even from a distance, just to make sure he doesn't wander off and gets lost.
His sister before him had this habit of making friends with whatever girl she'd meet at the playground and simply follow her wherever that kid would tell her to go to. “Oh, Mom, I was with my friend. It's OK”.
(Funny thing, these days she is the one watching like a hawk over her little brother!)
That day in the park it was a strange feeling – even my little one is now big enough to take care of himself and when he's done with the swings he'll come to me.
Just a perfect day
I've had this exact feeling a couple of weeks later, on holiday, at the beach. For the first time in 18 years I was able to enjoy swimming on my own, knowing that the kids are fine. My daughter is a teenager and it's been quite some time since I've had to worry about her. As for the boy, he was on a beach chair, playing a game on the phone.
There is a bit of regret that I feel watching them grow up and not needing me that much anymore, but it's just a tiny bit of regret. Surely, my son still clutches my hand when we cross the street and comes to me for a cuddle, but he too is growing up and is actively trying to prove he can do things on his own.
What I mostly feel is relief, my job is almost done.
I did it!
Thanks for reading
Wow. Congratulations. That is really one of the most virtuous achievements in life to have a rational and well thought through parenthood. I'm enjoying life with my 3 year old, but I am also worried. I hope that nothing bad happens to him,like disease or injury. I hope that he get friends and are not bullied. I also hope me and his mother will stay healthy until he is 100% independent (which could be anywhere between the age of 18-25)
Your job is almost over, and you can pat yourself on the back. Whatever happens when they move out of your home is either up to circumstances or their own choices - and has nothing to do with your choices or lack of such.
Odin salutes your effort, and may your children be strong and virtuous.
Thank you very much. Children are a blessing at any age. It's fun to play with a three year old, just as it is fun to chat with an 18 year old, over a cup of coffee.
And I do hope Odin approves, as my daughter is very interested in Norse mythology.
awwww, well done mom, clearly a great job ;) I think our kids always need their moms (and dads), even if it is just for our love and support (and dirty laundry ;))
That's got to be a good feeling. And you've done the most important job in the world.