How I Manipulate, I Mean Persuade, Other People (not you)

Let’s face it, there is a little bit of manipulation involved in getting what you want. People are not always so eager to just go along with whatever you say. Right? Getting what you want is an art. You need to summon all of your skills of persuasion, your charm and whatever additional talents you have in order to make it work. Here are four tips that will get you started.

1) Timing is everything. Don’t pitch your plan for a raise to a boss who just walked off the red-eye after a business trip from hell. Wait until the timing is right. You’ll know it when it is. Pay attention to the dynamics between you and person or people you want to persuade. As soon as you sense an opening, seize it. You don’t know when the perfect time will come around again.

                                       

2) Keep it simple. A drawn out story meant to inspire pity or sympathy will only cause irritation and mistrust. Avoid any long tales of woe or over-exaggerated pleas. Be direct, be assertive and state exactly what you want. Be specific. For example, if you need to convince your sisters that Christmas at your house is not going to happen this year, don’t beat around the bush and complain about your money problems or your termites, hoping they’ll volunteer to solve the problem for you. Simply say, “I have more than I can handle going on right now, which one of you wants to host Christmas this year?”

3) Explain the benefits to them. People may or may not care about what you want. But they do care very much about what they want. Therefore, after you state what it is you are after, have a few sound bites prepared that address how they will benefit. Using the sister example, you could follow up with “I thought you might want to show off your renovated kitchen, Sheila.”

4) Reinforce and follow up. Sometimes, people will agree to what you want just to shut you up and then try to change their minds later. No, no, no. Start the reinforcement immediately. When Sheila says she’ll host Christmas, you express your gratitude and then start making the calls to other family members. Or, put something in writing. Whatever you have to do to make sure the decision sticks, do it.