Why We Should Stop Getting Offended (featuring @logic as author)
Attention: This post has been written by @logic
There is always someone who may get offended by whatever other people say. What's considered offensive to one person may not be as offensive to another.
The problem is not in why someone offends us, but why we feel offended in the first place. If we get offended so easily, then maybe it is time to change the way we think so we wouldn't get offended. It might be a sign that we need to mindfully evaluate why we have such response in the first place.
Feeling offended is our subjective experience based on our emotional reaction to certain external information. As they say, "offense is taken, not given". If we ask ourselves a question - what really happens in reality around us, when we feel offended?
We would realize that the answer is: nothing happens. The world stays the same around us. The sky is still the same. The trees stand in the same place. Universal life goes on, regardless. There are no changes in reality. The only changes are in our mind
There is, also nothing in structure of certain combination of words that renders them inherently offensive. This is only our cognitive reaction - a reactive thought process.
Imagine if someone calmly threw insults at you in foreign that language you don't even understand. You would not even recognize that you are being "offended", so you would not have any sort of negative emotional reaction to it.
The type of reaction we have is directly related to our psychological make-up. It means that we can improve the way we react. Realizing that is very useful. We can transform ourselves from being an unstable bundle of uncontrolled emotional reactions towards assertive and stoic person.Both our conscious and unconscious reactions have roots in how we have been conditioned to react by many factors within our life (bio-psycho-social factors). The trick is to teach ourselves to be able to recognize our reactions to external stimuli, and make ourselves act in non reactive way.
[Epictetus was an ancient Greek, stoic philosopher]
Although feeling offended by something or someone may feel good and give us a fleeting sense of moral superiority, it doesn't help us to figure out what the essence of the world is really about. Actually, feeling offended tends to make it much harder for us to figure it out. That is because we lose ability to effectively assess the evidence.
Getting offended is simply self victimization, because it is up to us to make a decision, if we should be offended by anything.
It is important to note that many people use sense of being offended as ability to manipulate others. Often, in order to reinforce or propegate their certain beliefs.
Not getting offended does not remove the right to criticise aberrant behavior, or stand our ground to defend what we consider right. Being able to do this is very important for keeping our self integrity. Getting offended and criticizing unjust or violent behavior, are two different things.
Also, it doesn't mean that deliberately offending people is acceptable
"Comic Database: Steve Hughes... Offended? "
Attention: This post has been written by @logic
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Don't just follow me, follow the author as well, if you like their post @logic
nice post
Thank you! :D
I am offended, deeply, by the awesomeness of this post.
and I can totally live with that.
Damn you beat me to it!! I am offended too!!! :0)
Haha. I'm sorry for offending you guys. Not! :-D
This is a very basic post of what reminds me of a very powerful book "The 4 Agreements"
One of the "4 Agreements" of this book is to not take things personally. When someone is having a bad day or upset it is snot really because of YOU, it is because THEY are having a tough time.
When we take things personally and get offended then not only do we waste energy but we also loose the opportunity to really share a different perspective with the other.
If we can keep calm and logical we can actually make a communication with someone who we are in disagreement with and promote a better relationship than a more damaged one!
Well said. Logic prevails. No pun intended :-)
hahahahahahaha
P.T.S.D sometime's its a conditioned reflex triggered by audio.
Some think you are targeting them others just like to moan. Everyone has a different point of view which should be respected.
Should all points of view be respected though? Shouldn't respect be earned?
We should respect everyone doesn't think the sane we all have our point of views but like below says we don't have to agree with those views
Yes, not getting offended does not mean that we don't have the right to assertively disagree with socially aberrant views or even defend ourselves against socially aberrant behavior (self defense)
All points should be respected that they are an individuals freewill choice. This does not mean we have to agree or support or PARTICIPATE in the perspective. This is the paradox.
Actions and speaking are different things. We should not get offended by what people say but we have the right to accordingly, assertively react to their socially detrimental behaviour/actions actions.
For example, if someone keeps spreading offensive lies about certian group of people by faking up the evidence, we have the right to react and defned ourselves against such socially detrimental behavior.
Here's my take on offensive language: https://steemit.com/swearing/@jonno-katz/fuck-cunt-and-nigger-nsfw
Luis CK is very funny. Also check up YT "Doug Stanhope - Before Turning The Gun On Himself (2012)".
It very much relates to the above post :-)
Getting offended will only make your day doom and you are right getting offended will not change anything, it will not even make the offender disappear.
Thanks for comment. I'm glad that you agree :-)
I think it's a natural reaction, especially if what is being said totally contradicts what we believed in. Just count to 10 before you reply to the other person
I thik that it depends on how we have been brought up. It may have some neurological basis but in the end our behaviour depends on how we have been conditioned to react to these stimuli.
True, culture and upbringing will play a major role
Great article, thanks for sharing @knozaki2015!
I'm glad that you like it :-)
We need to go back to the "sticks and stones" genre. I don't know why so many people let words hurt them so much. Offended is the new fad, just seems to be going away slower.
yes. I think people are more agressive once they feel beeing offensive.
I try to always smile, and not to get to emotional ;)
Yea....I just say asshole under my breath then walk away. But I have that ability to shrug things off, some people don't, or haven't learned how.
Interesting points. I think that also illogical political correctness now is spreading the culture of protecting those "being offended". You can't criticise some idea, as you may be easily tagged as the one who is hurting someone's religious or political feelings. They confuse criticizing the ideology with criticizing individuals. A lot of groups hijack and exploit this in order to protect themselves against any criticism. This political correctness comes in very handy for them.
It is related to type of logical fallacy called appeal to emotion (or less common - righteous indignation)
Bingo!!
Some great advice right there!
Thanks @jedau !