If crying in public was an Olympic sport, my friend and I might be contenders
I’m having a bit of a laugh at myself (and you’re welcome to join me) but there is something therapeutic about having a good cry.
Like most of my random posts, this one came to me in the shower a few weeks back. It’s been sitting here 95% written, but now feels like the time for it.
I’m not really a big crier in my private life, but I do seem to have knack for crying at movies, stage shows, funerals (even when I barely know the person) and at home in front of the TV or when playing music.
Maybe it’s BECAUSE I’m not generally a big crier. Or maybe it’s partly due to sometimes having clients whose stories make me want to cry for them. But I need to just be present, not indulge my own feelings.
Movies and music are ways that we can get in touch with our feelings, and express them. Ways that we can experience feelings we may not have access to in daily life. And I think that’s a good thing,
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been affected, but it’s a lot. Here are the most memorable three for your entertainment, with a bonus of the most memorable occasion of public uncontrollable laughter.
A Window to the Sky (1975)
Also called The Other Side of the Mountain, this was a love story starring Marilyn Hassett and Beau Bridges. Considering the other similar movies that have left me unmoved, this was a bit of a surprise.
Spoiler alert (extremely condensed) – This is the story of an Olympic level skier who had an accident and became quadriplegic. She never expected to find love, but along comes Beau Bridges. He’s a pilot and on his flight over one day, he never arrives. Then they get the news of his crash. They are all outside looking up at the sky. She’s crying, her mum is crying, her dad is crying, her brothers are crying, and I am SOBBING. My mother is mortified, and is elbowing me, hissing “Be quiet!”
That would be number 1 in the “making a spectacle of myself” category.
And remember that a. kiwis are stoic and b. I’m an introvert.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)
I went to this movie with my friend, Kay, and her sister, Ali, all three of us well known wusses, especially when it comes to animals.
Although there are a few sad things about this movie, we weren’t particularly upset by any of them. Except this (spoiler alert)… They have a dog. The dog has a friend, a pig called Mephisto. The pig dies at some point (but we’re all good so far). Then the dog gets sick and they have to put it down. He is preparing the lethal injection. She is holding the dog, crooning to it, preparing it for what is to come. We are holding it together, just… Then she says “and Mephisto will be there” and the three of us lose it completely. Those words still bring a tear to my eye.
Number 1 in the “who’s the biggest sook?” category.
Michael James Manaia (1991)
A New Zealand play - “a poignant story about a New Zealand man who, after returning from the Vietnam War, finds himself at odds with his culture, his history and his memories. Packed full of dynamic theatrical action and colourful characters, we followed his journey through childhood, family, love, grief, violence, conflict and passion.”
Kay & I saw it as a one man show by actor Jim Moriarty. He was telling his baby his story and the whole show was heart wrenching and harrowing. But the climax came when we found out that the baby has deformities due to Agent Orange. Tears were rolling down my face so much that they were bouncing onto my chest.
Number 1 in the “heart being ripped out of my chest” category.
Number 2 in that category goes to the movie “Iris”. During that, Kay and I didn’t let ourselves cry, as we both felt that if we started, we would never, ever stop. Even then, we had to stay seated till the theatre was empty before we wobbled to our feet and staggered out.
Now for a change of pace, uncontrolled hysteria.
20 or so years ago, during the Wellington film festival, Kay and I went to a sub-titled Spanish film called “El Amor Brujo”.
In one scene, the women of the village were all hanging out the washing and talking about men. “Men only want one thing – a nest to put their little bird into”. Then one of them starts stamping her feet and singing “My nest is on fire, and I cannot find a little bird”.
Kay and I both burst out laughing, and laughed so much we were sliding off our seats and close to rolling on the floor.
Then we realised that we were the ONLY people laughing in the entire movie theatre.
Number 2 in the “making a spectacle of myself” category.
Are there other contenders out there – or do Kay, Ali and I take gold, silver and bronze?
If there is any hysteria during your holidays, may it be uncontrollable laughter.
If there are tears, may they be tears of healing.
If you need comfort, sending you love and virtual hugs, and may peace come to you in time.
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