THE TEN TRUTHS EDUCATION

An Ever-Growing List of WTH-isms that no book ever tells you about concerning farm life:

If you're a fanatic about clean floors, this is not the life for you. If dirt makes you freak, your brain will short out and your family will have to deal with you rocking back and forth in a corner of the pantry, clutching a Swiffer while muttering incoherently.
Chickens will eat keys off your keyboard. Tech support will laugh at your misfortune.
"What's that smell?" is a question that will never be answered.
Your dog that hates baths will happily lay down in the duck pool filled with poop water.
"Nice" patio furniture will no longer be nice if you free range anything that has a mouth or butthole.
If you spend $30 on a bag of organic chicken feed, the ungrateful little feathered misfits are still going to kick it out of the pan with their crazy dinosaur toes and the dog will eat it. Go cheap. They don't care.
No matter how many options they have, chickens will always dust bathe in your potted plants.
You will develop an indifference to poop. Unless it's human. That's just gross.
Squirrels are the anti-christ when you have a garden.
It's just not a good day until you've been yelled at by a duck.
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