What I HATE About Online Dating!
Dating kinda sucks. Whether it's in person or online. While many dates can be a lot of fun, Overall you're looking at some level of awkwardness and discomfort. At some point during the date. As I do more online dating, I also see how difficult it can be.
Meeting people at the bar?!
I keep hearing about this. If you want to meet someone, Go to the bar.
The thought of meeting my life partner at the bar, Sounds pretty horrible. They are drinking; They might be wasted and stupid. Running up a massive bar tab. Who knows, Maybe they came three other times in the same week! I mean, The people who show up the most, Might have the best chances of finding someone. Right?
I know, I Know.
Like you can meet people anywhere, At the store, On a hike, At the library. More "wholesome" Places. But online dating allows you to expand your horizons so much more, Heck, even if you do a 5-mile "radius." All those people who decided to stay home today, All those people you don't see because they are at work. Are all the sudden within your reach.
But Of course, there are downsides to all this too...
Photos Are Liars
With how many selfies many of us take these days, I'm sure we all know what kind of lighting, What angle and overall how to take a great photo of ourselves. Our Facebook feeds are often full of gorgeous looking people. Not only can people use fake photos for online dating, But they also can capture the only best aspect of themselves.
Shouldn't we put our best foot forward?
I'm all for that, But at the same time, When the person meets you in person for the first time. If your face looks perfect in every single photo, and you show up with a face full of acne. Instead of being excited to see you, The person may feel somewhat disappointed. Like they have been lied to.
I feel that we all should try to be more honest in our photos. At least for dating profiles.
Appearance Is Important.
Appearance isn't limited to how you look, but also how you walk, And overall how you hold yourself. So Many people underestimate this as part of being attracted to someone.
I've talked to guys I met online for days and sometimes weeks. Even before meeting up with them. They seemed so perfect; We had so much in common, All of their beliefs lined up perfectly with mine. I looked at quite a few photos of them, And I found their physical appearance very attractive overall. And I'm thinking "wow this person is perfect for me." All the sudden we go on a date, And I'm no longer attracted to them at all. Sure, They look just like the photos I saw. But the way they walk, Talk and hold themselves seems real off, and I lose attraction for them. All the sudden I can't see myself going on a second date with that person. Sadly there isn't a way to fully replicate that with online dating; I guess you could do a video to give a better perspective. But ultimately you are still getting a smaller portion of the whole picture.
Do You Even Know What You Want?
This is something that's really messing with my brain when I do online dating.
This can be an issue in person too. But when you see them in person, It gives you a chance to build up some initial attraction, Even if that person is not your type.
We often think that we want a certain "Type" Of guy or girl. They need to have X job, And X Hobbies, And X interests. But how do we know this is the right type for us?
Sure, We need to have some things in common with the other person, I know for a fact I could never date someone who wasn't willing to go on a hike with me now and then. But the "perfect" person we are looking for, May or may not exist. Or it may take an unreasonable amount of time to find that person.
I used only to date guys who were interested in video games Because I also like to play the occasional game. I avoided men who liked sports, Because I knew nothing about sports, And I didn't watch them. But neither of these things were incredibly important to me. I'd rather work on my business, Go for a run, Or go hiking over playing a videogame.
And I kept finding these "Stereotypical" gaming guys who seemed lazy And were not goal oriented. WHile there are plenty of hard working men out there that also play games. Me "Emphasizing" the gaming aspect of it, Got me just that. Guys who only play video games.
I've noticed as I've been going on dates with guys with a variety of interests even ones that I don't have much experience in, Has worked out better. But it bothers me with how online dating emphasizes the little things rather than the most important things.
Plenty of Fish Vs. Tinder
Many people are guilty of swiping based on photos. But I noticed a huge difference with these two. I know Tinder is largely used as a "Hookup." But I see more and more people using it to find someone for the long term. Tinder allows you to fill out basic details about yourself, Your age, And then a small description at the bottom, Which usually is used for interests and such. But Plenty of Fish, on the other hand, emphasizes a different set of details. These details seem somewhat better on the compatibility scale.
Online Dating Is Here To Stay
It's worked for a lot of people thus far. But I can't wait for them to release more research and data which will make it easier to find someone you are more compatible with. Sometimes I wonder if we know truly what we want and what will work best for us. Online dating seems like a huge guessing game! Haha.
I tried online dating and I will not so soon go back to it. It is not fun nor easy. The bar, well I have only met one person and kept in touch. We couldn't be more opposite, but they are too awesome to still be hitting up the bars. I got lucky meeting him. Let me know if you find another way to meet people!
You will generally find a lot of people judging based on looks or that instant attraction, whereas it can sometimes take 2 or 3 dates to get to know someone and that is how you really become attracted to them.
Online dating is definitely a lot more mainstream as it is easy to access via your smartphone rather than going out to find someone you might be interested in.
You really just need to keep at it, get to know someone and have some common interests but not be completely picky in wanting exactly what you want. :)
Right? I need to stop the pickyness heheh
Hehe yeah! Madam Picky ;) hehe kidding. You will find someone soon enough, keep focusing on your business, Steemit etc first and just go on dates now and then to try find someone good. :)
Aww Yeah I heard the 2 or 3 date thing recently! I need to try that out. I thought 1 date was enough. But clearly I was wrong.
Yeah definitely try a second date if you think it went well for a first or feel another try might work.
It may sound strange, but I have never used an online dating service, since I moved to England to pursue a relationship with @cathi-xx, but then again, maybe Steemit may be an online dating service.
Who knows how many other people have met here and are keeping their relationships under the radar.
I couldn't imagine using traditional services where I meet sketchy strangers while keeping a close eye on my kidneys through out dinner. I tended to only date friend and friends of friends until I met @cathi-xx here.
She was helping me with my writing and poetry and the sparks began to fly, now after six months in England we are headed to the US for a few months and then... who knows.
Let me know when you figure it out haha.. the older I get, the more difficult dating seems
Right? It is getting more difficult! If I find any secrets I'll figure it out.
Haha thanks
Since I'm an EVIL white male (everything is my fault) I'm certainly glad that I'm past that stage.
I hear Japan is doing MARVELOUS things with robots now days.
Never heard of anyone getting sued by a robot..
robot wives are going to be awesome
The feminists have got what they wanted.
Why aren't they happy?
mgtow!
Oh no! Hahha I've heard of those! Dang it :( I Kinda don't like where things are going.
Or a robot being sued by somebody... but I have heard of someone marrying a robot.
Online dating just not a great way to meet people. People lie easier on text than in real life. In real life you can look at facial cue and behavior wise. Its wise to talk for weeks or months before going on date. Mask will slowly wear off by that time. Focus on talking bout plans and goal in life too.
Have you thought of going to REI and joining some of their expeditions? Hiking, Camping, Rafting etc etc. The worst case scenario, you get out in the wilderness and simply go hiking. But at least you'll meet people with at least one common interest. Then, all you need to do is find one of those hikers that are entrepreneurs and happen to be fairly talented artists to boot.
I've been thinking of doing that :) Great tips hehe! I have been practicing driving so I can go to stuff like that.
I met my wife 10 years ago on Myspace and in my opinion, It was greatest dating app ever created 10/10 lol
I have met the biggest cheaters and creeps through online dating , but a experience to remember
Right? Hahha I feel like us women Need extra careful about our safety on that :(
You can meet people at a coffee shop, movie theater, your job, at a restaurant/bar during a sports event, live sporting event, concert... many others.
I never had to dive into the online dating scene (I just got lucky). I understand that it's a crazy world we live in with online dating and such. You just gotta have tempered expectations about what you see is rarely what you get in the digital world.
Thanks for your recommendations Those are also great ones :)
Exactly! It can be hard with everyone else doing it :)