Stop Comparing Yourself To Others!
We often compare ourselves to others; I am very guilty of this. We tend to judge whether we are successful or not based on other people success. It may be determined by the person's age, their social status, their career, or just merely the opportunities they are pursuing that we are as well.
What are we comparing these people to?
The problem with comparing ourselves to other people is that no one's life is the same, we may have had more challenges. Or we may just not be as hard-working. But the main problem is, we often don't know the whole story. We only see a small glimpse into a person's life. If you look on Facebook, you'll notice that most the stories are pretty positive. People are showing their trips; showing their happy times hanging out with friends. You may feel inadequate because you don't have friends. Or you don't have the same things they do. But the thing is this may be their best aspect of life. You may not see the dark side, the struggles, or all the crap they have to deal with every day.
This is an unfair comparison and will only hurt your self-esteem.
Entrepreneurs like Gary Vee emphasize the importance of not comparing ourselves to other people. He claims that once you compare yourself to another person, YOU already lost. YOU should be focused on your own game so much that you don't even notice the people around you. I also feel that it's important to see what your competition is doing, but we have a problem with determining what competition is and what isn't. That person, you went to school with isn't your competition. Now unless they are building a business very similar to yours in the same niche, they aren't directly competing with you, and they are just another person.
Not everyone gets the same opportunities, and are not saying this can be an excuse for you slacking off. But that just means that some people will be ahead no matter what. Even just a little bit. That doesn't say anything though; you can catch up, you can pass them. Sometimes it takes a little bit of extra work on our part. Disadvantages do hurt us sometimes. But we can turn those disadvantages into advantages.
Stop relying on external relationships.
When we compare ourselves to others, we often feel like crap about ourselves. Then we start relying on outside relationships to get ourselves feeling better. Whether people have the tools to get us to where we need to be, or we blame the people around us. It's easy to blame the parents. And while some parents genuinely do pull us down along with other family members, we don't have to let it keep us down. To a certain excerpt point in your life, you have to accept responsibility for where you are at in your life. And the sooner you do this, the better. This will lead you to move forward, even when the odds seem stacked against you. Comparing yourself to others is just a big fat waste of time. The time adds up; you could've been doing something to get closer to your goals. We are too busy obsessing. Obsessing over something that you can't just automatically get. Something that takes work. So take your life into your own hands, and start making a difference!
The act of comparison is an act of violence against the self. Be your own cheerleader. Stop comparing yourself with others and focus on how you can become the best version of you. Instead, embrace your personal victories and combat your challenges head-on.
Seeking validation from others on social media is something many of us can fall into the trap of doing. If we don't get as many Likes as someone else, it means our joke, picture, meme, blog, wasn't as good. But that is NOT what it means. It means not as many people saw it or that people who follow you aren't that into what you do, so find people who are.
I learnt this through YouTube, since what I do tends to be very niche, so it only appeals to a select audience. Trying to grab the attention of someone who is searching from that same content when there are hundreds of videos on it can be tough, so that's more of a challenge, but knowing your content is good comes from knowing you are doing it with passion and doing the best you can possibly do. It does help others telling you, but it must come from within first.
Everyone looks so happy on social media and perfect, and it's not reality. Knowing this helps. Comparing our looks, our success, our happiness, to other people only creates depression. Comparing ourselves today to how we were before and looking at ways to be where we would like to be in the future, that can be motivating and lead us to happiness.
I stopped comparing myself to others and their lives a long time ago. I focused on me and what I want to achieve and knowing I may not always achieve things when I want to, but I will get it when I am meant to. Having an overall positive nature and knowing things happen for a reason and see me grow stronger with a continuous push forward, that is what helps make me happy. :)
Right? I'm so glad you do that :) It's much better to go that route and you grow so much because of it. hehe
I try not to compare myself to others and just do everything the best I can. But sometimes I find myself comparing to someone and it does make me feel sad and that is when I say, everyone is different and everyone has their own race to run and just because I can't be as good at something as the other person, doesn't mean that I am any less, since this is not my priority in life and I am running my race, my dreams and my life and as long as I am doing everything I can the best way I can, I am proud and happy of who I am.
Amazing post @kaylinart.
Thank you
This is me, I got worse when I became house bound, everyone's like looked better. I deleted a lot of people on Facebook as they made me feel worse. Its sad when you think like that, i am getting better :)
Aww I'm glad you are getting better at that! I understand being home bound would make it a lot worse, Especially when you are seeing the best aspect of people's life.
it's great advice but can be sooo hard to put into practice. You really need to be focused and in the present to break the habit.
Yes!!! It's a bad habit! And focusing on the present really helps.
There really isnt a need to compare one's self to others based on success achieved. It just keeps one less motivated.
Exactly!
Majority of people are guilty of this. Parents especially like to compare their Children's performances and behavior to other children's own. Parents sometimes spite their own kids with those characters.
The key thing is just to make sure you do the right things. Success is bound to come sometime along the way.
Right? I love that example you used! It's sad when parents do that. Kids often have different opportuntnies and can't always be 100% equal on skills and abilities.
The concern you have is not really about comparing yourself to others, although you think it is. Fundamentally, you are insecure. You don't believe in yourself. Perhaps others have told you that you were worthless or that you didn't "measure up" in some way(s): parents, siblings, teachers, authority figures, so-called "friends," etc. When they did this, you must understand that they were psychologically projecting their own foibles onto you. Everything they say about you is how they feel about themselves. They are making you their mirror. Realizing this will help you to view yourself more objectively.
@kaylinart, thanks for the reminder! It's something we all need, from time to time.
I wanna just share a lovely quote I read on a blog, which sums up what you've said:
Much love!