How To Handle Criticism
Criticism can suck, Especially when you THINK your good at something.
Life sometimes sucks, NO matter how hard you work, Or how much time you spend on something, Someone will always be better than you, And it's easy to be eaten alive by this.
Everyone gets Criticized. And it's important to learn how to deal with it, The right way... Not by "giving up" or playing the victim card.
There are two kinds of negative feedback,
- Constructive Criticism
- Personal attacks.
Constructive Criticism
When people are talking about the actual issue of what ever it is you presented. Instead of attacking you. Like If you wrote an essay, "yeah it's good. But it had no feeling".
That's not a personal attack. They aren't saying something like,
"you have no feelings, no one likes you. You're a heartless piece of shit."
Now that's a personal attack.
Why you should LOVE Citicism
- Gives you ideas on how to improve
- Shows you someone you SHOULDN'T be marketing to.
- You offended someone; That means you must be somewhat out of the box.
A Story of My Art
In high school, My art was well liked. But also well hated. I only won one art show; Many people were baffled. While others were not surprised.
"why?"
According to my art teacher, My artwork is incredible. But it doesn't match the standards of people living in Utah. Almost everyone is Mormon and is extremely close minded. If I were to participate in a show, In another state I would probably do better.
It's not fair that I was judged based purely on the subject matter. But that's sort of how everything is in this state. One religion controls almost everything, Our laws and what we are allowed to do. It's ridiculous. But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I continued to build my business online where I had a bigger reach, And now I"m self-employed.
What to do when you are criticized.
When it comes to criticism, I choose to completely ignore personal attacks. The only goal of those people is to look for your weak spot so they can cause you as much pain as possible. I look for people offering constructive criticism. And I decide what is ultimately best for my style and my audience. You have to remember that you cannot please everyone, That you will be loved by lots of people, and hated by lots of people. It's completely normal.
In high school, I used to get upset when people didn't' like my art, Instead of focusing on those who DO like my art, I got caught up in those who don't. My art teacher then explained to me that...
33% of people will love my art
33% will hate it
33% will have no opinion.
It's important to find that 33 who love you, I'm not saying you should never push to improve Or make changes that are necessary. But once you start having "haters" that means you are becoming something, That means you are GROWING! Your first hater is a GOOD THING!
- You are NOBODY until someone hates you!
How To Respond To Criticism
Use Kindness
Be that super kind person, Not only will you make that person look like a total asshole, But you may make them feel bad, they may take away the negative review, Or whatever it was that negatively affected you. Overall it will just kill their fun; They'll leave you alone.
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I encourage criticism as it helps a person look at themselves in a different angle. But if when found that there's no basis to it...then you are not the one with a problem. It's the person who is doing the criticism itself.
Sometimes, this we fail to see.
Exactly! Agree 100%
It does make u pause and consider there might be some truth to it ;)
Criticism, no problem as long as you can consider the source and what weight you will allow it to sink in.
Good stuff! I study scientific hand analysis and some people are born with a life purpose of working on their fear of criticism. Perhaps this falls more in the category of lesson than purpose. I totally agree that staying true to your art/heart but learning how to take valuable criticism and pointers to use constructively is the most rewarding path. Shutting down to avoid criticism is to fail in the lesson and to dishonor yourself. 🌹
completely agree... 👍 criticism helps to grow if it is objective.
Agree too. But be aware - criticism mostly can't be really objective, but you have to value your counterpart :-)
So true... I would say, the only thing that prevent us from doing what we suppose to do to achieve our goals is a fear of criticism !!! We should stop hiding and embrace the criticism of any kind. Use the constructive and overcome the personal attacks. Criticism it's a sign that we are on the right track. You gave me inspiration for a new post in related matter. Thank you, keep writing :)
this is a great post
and good advice.. it's important to know how to handle criticism in a variety of settings, not only at work but at home too -- healthy criticism of course!
I have been criticised the whole time I was growing up by the people who should be there to make you feel good My parents, Its hard to change a negative to a positive but I am getting better at ignoring people :) Oh and I like your art :)
still learning how to deal with this.
A well written article. It reminds me of a few things. My mantra is borrowed and mixed up from Albert Einstein and Isaac Asimov and Henry Ford
Feedback (I hate the word criticism) is the heart of learning. The second quote came from my counsellor who was helping me through the depression stage after my separation. She said
Your article integrates both of these. Thank you