I've found what helps is surrounding yourself with people that do understand. It could be a group of Mums who have been through the same thing. Maybe you all meet for lunch or hang out now & then. Or even find a group online. Just to know you're not alone, and that your baby has their own soul & they existed, your baby is real. You know I have lost a pepi too, it was a long time ago & i rarely think about it now. At some point you hand your baby over to the god's & mama's of the wairua. But it is totally up to you & nobody else how long you hold on for. Your baby is there with you, you are always holding your babies hand. However you choose to cope, never feel you have to do it a certain way, you can do it however you like. Never feel like you have to be quiet & shouldn't talk about it all the time. A good support network, a strong one. You never have to face these things alone, although sometimes it is nice to be alone with your baby, it is also important not to isolate yourself. You are still a mother to this baby, if that's what you feel. I have been keeping you & baby in my Karakia. xxx