Sometimes you just gotta get it out. Writing is therapy. So is walking away from a situation that drags you down, and oh has this one dragged you down. You're strong as hell, my friend, but I know it's because you've had to be, and it's taken a toll. Hang in there and keep working towards the next incarnation of who you are, in a different place, a different life. I believe in you!
I love you, Soul Sista. :-)