Momxiety - May the force be with me tomorrow. No wait. Today.

• Momxiety

Laying in bed awake since Eve's last feed at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep because I've been hearing Flynn calling for Mummy from his room. Except when I went to check on him, he was sound asleep...
2am. 3am. 3:30am. Again and again my ears kept ringing and I kept going to his room to check on him because I thought I heard him wake up.

Or I would be going downstairs for a quick bite to eat after putting Eve to nap and would race back upstairs thinking that I heard her stir, when she hadn't. Or putting Flynn to sleep and texting Carlos asking if Eve is okay because I thought I heard her cry and he'd say no she's actually sleeping. And vice versa. Many times a day.

My brain doesn't shut off. I feel like I'm always on high alert. At any given moment I'd be thinking about 20 different things regarding the kid's well-being, their development, household stuff, work, things to be done, things I haven't done, mum's guit etc etc the list goes on. And it gets worse at night.

Now the kids are both gonna be up in a couple hours. For real this time. And I'm still wide awake listening to a certain somebody's endearing snoring next to me lol.

May the force be with me tomorrow. No wait. Today.