Nightmares

You know, I would have tought, after eight depression-free months, that my life would become more peaceful. And it has, in some ways.

However, I've begun to have nightmares - pretty often, too. Hardly ever, before, when I was sunken in depression, which makes the change even more weird.

It all started a couple of months ago. I don't remember all of them, of course, I'm not wasting my memory with them, but I know I am a stellar killer in each of them.

I enjoy killing, it feels refreshing. I am highly skilled, too (In real life I actually detest physical violence, so....... go figure). I only defend myself and people I love, but if I find myself in such a situation, I am merciless. I am this emotionally detached, perfectly trained to kill person.

My next to last nightmare:
Some creep captured me and threatened to do really vile things to me; he was a rather big guy and he'd trapped me with my back to him. I wasn't scared - although I was thoroughly disgusted - so for a while I simply stayed still, waiting to see what would happen next.
Then his buddy arrived, holding my daughter. Nasty threats followed, they were quite descriptive - and when I saw my beautiful girl captured, I stopped thinking. I just reacted.

It all took a blink. I got free from the first creep, I smashed his head against the asphalt (we were standing on a dim lighted street) with vigor, again and again... When his skull cracked open, I stuck my fingers inside and began to drag his brains out on the sidewalk. I didn't stop until his skull was completely empty. His blank eyes were staring in the void, his lifeless body was crooked.

The second creep was fascinated by the whole process. I wiped my fingers on the asphalt, clearing brains off them, then I went for him too. I set my daughter free, then I broke the creep's spine, vertebra by vertebra. Then I broke his neck and I contemplated his lifeless body for a bit.

After that, worry hit me like a freight train and I ran to my daughter, asking her over and over if she was okay. She kept answering she was fine, but I just couldn't stop. I was so worried about her seeing me kill those guys, I was worried she'd be afraid of me.
Fortunately, she wasn't. We left that weird place, then I woke up.

My last nightmare:
I'm in a house full of people, we all do stuff to help other people, when all of a sudden, the weather changes. Cold winds, clouds, everything turns gray.
Faces get distorted, people get distant, cold. As I go into a room to get something, I talk to someone when I feel a rash on my neck. I scratch my neck, but it keeps itching. I become more attentive, when I notice there are spiders crawling on my jacket and biting my neck. I shake my coat and clear my neck, all spiders fall on the floor, I kill them.
But then I notice the whole room is flooded with spiders that seem to have targeted me.
I start fighting them, as they grow bigger and bigger. They don't attack mindlessly, they react to my movements and their big eyes follow me.

In my nightmare, I envision a water hose. It appears in my hands, silvery white, and I turn it on the spiders. "Water" pours out, flooding and freezing spiders, one by one. Then only three are left alive, the biggest and smartest of them all.
My hose has run dry. It becomes a short sword in my hands. I begin to fight the creepy things, I behead two. The last one attacks me fast. It has a giant head and I can see its brain within. It opens huge jaws at me and tries to bite me with sharpened teeth, and I fight for my life with every ounce of skill I have.
I kill the bastard when I stick the sword inside its open mouth, down its throat. My thought, as I waited for it to die, was "I should've stuck the sword into its brain, it would've died faster"...

I woke up because my hand, the one holding the sword in my nightmare, was hitting the bed.

...Meh.

(image source: aminoapps.com)