Who's the real victim when the only evidence comes from a 'he said'-'she said'? Read this and tell me what you think.

in life •  last year

Okay. This posts covers a lot.

Power of social media, cyber-bullying, victim blaming, "rape", possible wrong accusations, depression, alcohol and basically two ruined lives.

Well saying ruined may be taking a bit too far.

The Story.

So here's what happened:

It happened on this one ordinary Friday night, a night when college students usually drink especially after being flooded by exams. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just teenagers getting smashed to forget reality. So there are two people who we're gonna focus on on this particular night, let's just say that they're friends... well they were actually friends. A guy and this girl who apparently is commited to another.

They went out drinking with their friends in this bar where students frequent. It's a loud, rowdy and dark place that gets pretty trashed by the end of the night. The deeper the night went, the drunker the people got and so this girl gets so drunk and ends up making out with a few guys, not including this post's main guy character, at least not yet.

At the beginning of the night, she insisted that no matter what she was gonna go home to her dormitory, but the thing was that wasn't what happened. Everybody got pretty drunk so everyone's memory is a bit bleghsd. She woke up in a motel with the guy and they were apparently hugging but they weren't naked and they weren't fully clothed either.

She woke up without any memory of how she got into that situation and why she was in bed with her friend, though her reaction wasn't to bolt right out of bed and go home, she stayed there in bed with him cuddling and kissing and then she went home and that's when everything hit her. She was so confused about everything because she can't remember anything at all.

Fast forward to a couple of months.

She posted everything she felt and everything that happened in a long threadd on Twitter for everyone to see and read. She claims that she felt violated and that she fell into depression because she felt dirty.

It didn't even take a day and because of her actions about what the guy allegedly did to her, this guy was given a title of a rapist and her a victim.


It's such a very dark and ugly word. Something that's very hard for me to talk about because of bad memories.


The guy woke up one day to find out he was dubbed a rapist without anyone asking his side of the story. He was bullied online. Receiving hatred.

I personally asked the guy of what truly happened and he himself was drunk as fuck and he can't say much to defend himself without it sounding as an excuse.

His side of the story

He wasn't able to take her back to the dormitory because it was obvious that she was wasted and was against the rules to come back that way. He didn't know that she was wasted enough to black out and not remember anything. He also didn't know that he was committing rape when she was apparently kissing him back and answering to his advances.

Victim blaming

Those who sided with the accused were accused themselves of victim blaming.

Two lived were damaged but who's to say who's fault it was and who did who wrong when their words are all they have? What are your thoughts?

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