I won't say that I know what you're going through csuse I don't. But I do know how it feels to lose something you love and whatever you do...it is gone forever. But it taught me to accept and let go and be happy with what you do have. Because not being able to fully enjoy and appreciate the things you still have, may cause you to loose those as well. So everything has a purpose in life also the experience of being disabled. Find out while you are sipping every drop of happiness you need to let in.