The Knife (cutting through the back alleys; cutting ties with unhealthy relationships)
Sometimes....it’s not that you don’t love somebody. Or even that you don’t like them, necessarily.
It’s just that...after they have refused to take responsibility time and again—refused to treat you with basic respect and dignity, whether intentionally or otherwise—
there comes a point where the road just splits, and you cannot choose to continue walking their way. You’ll have to choose your own way. It’s wasting your time. Too much effort. And there is no reciprocation of your energy.
The other party might even say you are overreacting by ending the relationship. What hurts the most is this severe lack of understanding. It feels like there’s no empathy.
It’s not about forgiving and forgetting. That’s bullshit. Do you forgive a robber while they are still robbing you?
You won’t forget it, either.
I have found no real way to work through this, BUT. In light of goals, the burning torture of this kind of bullshit is dimmed, or extinguished altogether.
Let it be now unsettled. That’s alright. Stay on your path. Your road.
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
Change for no-one and don't try to change anyone.
Too many people think they can mold someone into the person they want them to be rather than accept who they are.
Fuck that!
Life is too short.
I'm glad I read this. I think I needed that. Well said, Graham.
Thanks man. I’m glad to hear that.
i agree with you points it's not possible to keep every one happy and if we trying to do this act then may we make ourself unsettled, thanks for sharing very nice thoughts with us, Stay awesome.
This is real talk you are sharing and not bullshit.
I know you're not a Christian, but this is one of the things I struggle with the most. As we are supposed to love everyone, how are we supposed to react to people that just use our generosity?
I had a pastor point out that we're supposed to give generously to the homeless regardless of what they'll use the money for. It is not for us to judge them. This was one thing that totally changed my views on giving.
I did that for a long time and was poor. I once gave a guy money and watched him walk a block away only to be arrested by a cop car that pulled up.
I would run as far away from that pastor as possible. If one gives to everyone that asks without using discretion, then one will end up with nothing left to give. I’ve lived it.
Even Jesus stated he didn’t want to help certain people, and actually ignored them, like the Syrophoenician woman, because he stated, according to the Bible, he was sent to help the people of Israel.
I don't think his point was give all your money away. I think it was if you felt lead to do a nice thing don't hold back because that person will just "use it to buy drugs".
Thanks for the additional info!
Love the post in general just FYI
I don't know if this would be too harsh. But you can try https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Antichrist_(book)
or just watch the first season of Tokyo Ghoul which has it's main characters primary belief as: It's better to be hurt than hurting somebody. Good people can be happy with just that.
I don't want to come across as too harsh. But Charity as a primary virtue is a path to suicide. The true great virtue is wisdom. The highest gift you can give someone is the gift of wisdom. Give man a fish and he'll become a beggar. It doesn't happen always. But in my experience 90% of the people you help end up becoming entitled shmucks who depend on you too take care of their sorry asses.
Just a personal experience.
Life is about choices, for sure. Sometimes we have to choose the road that fits us best.
I'd like to share this video with you. Please take a look:
My knee-jerk reaction to something like this is: It is over. It's really over. there is no more. It could have been the reality a nano second ago or even several decades ago. But the point is that it's over. Nothing can be done about it.
It's always better to get things down to the fundamentals.
Are you Happy?
Do you want to be Happy?
What makes you Happy?
What makes you UnHappy?
After that it's cold hard calculations for me. I've never scored below 100% on an assertiveness test and Neuroticism my has been a zero every time I took a test.
So my methods may be little too heavy and hard. But they give results. You can read a bit here: https://steemit.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/psycho-engineering-how-i-deal-with-my-past-my-philosophy-about-past-and-the-reasoning-behind-it
and some personal takes about philosophy here: https://steemit.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/the-myth-of-the-nihilist-nietzsche-analysis-of-his-philosophy-throughthe-eys-of-zen
Good video. Thanks for sharing. We likely agree on a lot already.
You have a great channel. I couldn't believe how little views you had. You added a new subscriber for your channel. I'd like you to check out my new post on Ayn Rand since we seem to be pretty much on the same page. It took me 2 hours to write. I didn't intend in to be that long but stuff kept coming up. So you'll have to take it slow: https://steemit.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/glaring-impact-of-ayn-rand-turning-piratebay-into-a-subreddit-and-deconstructing-one-of-the-most-nonsensical-conspiracy-theories
Hopefully it wasn't too long of a post :-)
It's a reality of life, living is very learning in every situation, we are learning from experience. Some times happier some times sad, the journey of life is learning. Thanks for sharing such a valuable lesson. Wish you a very beautiful time my dear friend.
A few days ago I got disappointed by a person three times in a row now. I'm thinking I should decline my expectations of this person and not expect them to do anything for me that they promise. In two weeks I should stand ready for them, but I plan to call them off like they did with me, right on the last moment. Eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
The connection between lies and truth, energy circles between the duality of the world. Materialism has turned its back on spiritual values - news about blockchain technology takes time to think about the more important things.
The world has become a global village of interest, lust has replaced love, sex is on speed, everything has become a race and routine in the material mirror of reality. We need to find a balance for our inner satisfaction, for the fulfillment of the heart with abundance.