in life •  4 months ago

"Read the heart and not the letter for the pen cannot draw near the good intent."

 Hola! There. So this blog is very personal to me and actually inspired by the netflix show which is "To all the boys I loved before."

 Before anything else I just wanna say that now in this state of love in the world I am a very bitter lady when it talks about love and forever lol. So let's travel back to the time where I am still hopeless romantic and ignorant about this weird feelings I have felt cause by people who is once my source of kilig.  

Early in my elementary days, grade 1 exactly I have this boy classmate. He is my very first crush. He is white and have dimples, smart and kinda chubby. Tbh I really don't know how he became my crush that time. I mean he is one of my very rude bullies. He bullies me all the time and isolate me. But I guess my types are those bad guys vibe. I have a crush on him since grade 1 until my grade 3 years. I have never once admit to him my feelings but I think he knows. I am always so obvious when I have some crushes. He never return my feelings back tho, nor express sweet gestures and there it is my very first crush who ruthlessly crushed my heart. 

 Dear Crush,

I know this is very weird cause I am just a lonely girl who you always bullied on our grade 1 years but I just wanna say you’re my very first crush. We’re too young those times but I find you to be one of those princes in those fairy tales story, I guess it’s because of your looks anyway I have a crush on you back then until our 3rd grade. Yep that long. I don’t even know why. You might be a bully but even before I still can see your good side it’s like you wanted to go along with those popular guys but still your kind and smart. You just wanna belong I guess. I know how it felts but since then I just didn’t belong, I felt isolated and you’re my inspiration to find something or somewhere where I can also fit in. Stay happy on where you are right now.

  (P.S Please don’t bully me if ever you see this post. Lol)

                                                                                                                                                                            Your victim                                 


 My second crush is my nemesis. We fought like cat and dogs everyday no exemption. We always argue about random stuff, he always bully me and since I have learned my lesson on my lower grades level I have now know how to stand up for myself and don't let any bullies to harass me so I fight back. He is a transferee with her sister that has now become my best friend @sasha quijano. Everything started on our 6th grade. To my luck he and I was assigned to sit on our each opposite sides so we're seatmates and from there on we have become enemies. I hate his guts and his annoying attention seeking attitude. We fought everyday to the point that our adviser teacher tease us already that the boy just wanted my attention and have a crush on me. Then my hatred vanished when he showed me his kind side. On one of our science quiz, I panically ask my classmates to borrow a pen cause I lost mine and the test is starting already then he kindly give me his pen and allow me to use it. For the very first time he become kind to me until we become distant to each other's on our high school years. However my prom with him is really an unforgettable night.  

Dear Baktin, 

             It’s been a while now no updates huh?. Well if you find this weird then please don’t, this is just a letter where I wanted to say what I really felt. I might have hate you in 5th grade but secretly I also have a crush on you. You might be very annoying all the time but honestly I like it when you gave me your attention to me than those other girls who are beautiful and who have a crush on you. Anyway I have a crush on you on our elementary days and it all began when you show me your good side. It might be a little thing for others but just that simple moment where you let me borrow your pen my perspective on you changes. I won’t forget our prom night. Thanks for giving me a memorable and fun prom. You’re the best partner that I can have. Stay happy with your girl and I’ll pray for your relationship.

  (P.S @sasha quijano if you ever read this, please don’t show this to him.)    

                                                                                                                                                         Your mortal enemy


May your blogs don’t have any wrong grammars. (like mine.) 

                                                                                                                               Roxy Signing off   

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