Anecdotas aleatorias (Asco De Vida) #5, Random anecdotes #5

in #life7 years ago

Bildschirmfoto 2017-10-06 um 23.32.28.png

2
Publicado por ♂ franjamove3 el 21 oct 2017, 19:03 / trabajo
La semana pasada, vino una prostituta al lugar donde trabajo, indignada, me contaba que su cliente habitual le ha dejado por otra más barata. Creo que esas cosas solo me pasan a mí. ADV
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2
Publicado por ♂ manu69m el 21 oct 2017, 19:00 / picante
Hace unos meses, el día de Año Nuevo tuve que dejarles mi habitación a una pareja de amigos que iban a perder la virginidad mientras mi novia me decía entre risas que viéramos una película. Tuve que ver la película mientras los escuchaba gritar en mi cama. ADV
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10
Publicado por ♀ lanovia el 21 oct 2017, 17:03 / picante
Hoy, descubrí que mi primo la tiene más grande que mi novio, no solo eso, la sabe usar mucho mejor. No me sentiría tan mierda si no me casara dentro de tres semanas. ADV
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5
Publicado por ♀ calentadora el 21 oct 2017, 17:00 / picante
Hoy, he descubierto que soy una calienta pollas. Mis amigos han apostado cual duraba mas tiempo conmigo a solas en una habitación sin empalmarse. ADV
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13
Publicado por ♀ Juana Andrea el 21 oct 2017, 15:03 / amistad
Hace unos meses, estaba hablando con un amigo mío por Skype, al rato me dijo: 'Quiero agua'. Y yo, inconscientemente, como al lado tenía una botella de agua le dije: '¿Quieres agua? ¡Pues toma agua!' Y eché agua al portátil. ADV
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7
Publicado por hellupeach el 21 oct 2017, 15:00 / picante
Hoy, he ido a la habitación de mi hermano para preguntarle si por la noche salía o no. He abierto un poco lo puerta y he visto a alguien en su cama. Era mi mejor amiga, y me han dicho que no es la primera vez que se acuestan. ADV
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6
Publicado por ♂ chancletazo el 21 oct 2017, 13:03 / ave
Hoy, estaba en las fiestas de mi pueblo, cuando me quité la chancla para rascarme la pierna con el pie (porque estaba grabando con la cámara), cuando fui a poner el pie, no estaba la chancla, me la robaron, UNA PUTA CHANCLA. ADV
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13
Publicado por ♂ edevash el 21 oct 2017, 13:01 / picante
Ayer, compré una caja de condones porque mi novia se quedaba a dormir en mi apartamento. Abrí la caja de doce y saqué 6 para guardarlos en una cajita promocional. Mi novia se ha ido urgentemente porque le ha llamado una amiga. Faltan 2 condones en la caja. ADV
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15
Publicado por ♀ chanketa el 21 oct 2017, 11:03 / amor
Hoy, me he dado cuenta de que estoy enamorada de mi mejor amigo. Cuando se lo he hecho saber, me ha rechazado. Dice que sigue enamorado de mí, pero que prefiere el placer de la venganza que el que le pueda dar yo. ADV
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6
Publicado por ♀ bornyesterday el 21 oct 2017, 11:01 / trabajo
La semana pasada, en una fiesta del trabajo, el novio de mi jefa (que fue compañero mío de clase en la universidad y amigo desde entonces) se pilló un pedo horroroso, me cogió por sorpresa y me besó. Salimos pillados en una de las fotos de la noche, que están en el Facebook de la empresa. Adivinad a quién no le renuevan el contrato. ADV
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13
Publicado por ♂ Ivi el de las monjas el 21 oct 2017, 09:03 / varios
Ayer, estaba sentado en una cafetería cuando me dieron ganas de tirarme un pedo. La música estaba muy alta, así que decidí tirármelo al ritmo de la música para que nadie lo pudiese escuchar. De repente, todo el mundo se me quedó mirando. Fue entonces cuando me acordé de que estaba escuchando la música en mi iPod. ADV
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6
Publicado por ♀ Anónimo el 21 oct 2017, 09:01 / ave
Hoy, esta misma mañana, mi profesor de autoescuela no me ha dado la práctica a las 9h porque estaba "revuelto". Salió ayer de fiesta y le ha dado miedo que nos pillara un control de alcoholemia. ADV
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EN

2
Posted by ♂ franjamove3 on Oct 21, 2014, 19:03 / job
Last week, a prostitute came to the place where I work, indignantly, she told me that her regular client has left her for a cheaper one. I think those things just happen to me. ADV
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2
Posted by ♂ manu69m on Oct 21, 2017, 7:00 PM / Spicy
A few months ago, on New Year's Day, I had to leave my room to a couple of friends who were going to lose their virginity while my girlfriend told me with laughter that we watch a movie. I had to watch the movie while listening to them scream in my bed. ADV
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10
Posted by ♀ lanovia on Oct 21, 2017, 17:03 / spicy
Today, I discovered that my cousin has bigger than my boyfriend, not only that, he knows how to use much better. I would not feel so shit if I did not get married in three weeks. ADV
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5
Posted by ♀ heater on Oct 21, 2017, 17:00 / spicy
Today, I have discovered that I am a hot dick. My friends have bet that I spent more time with me alone in a room without splicing. ADV
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13
Posted by ♀ Juana Andrea on 21 Oct 2017, 15:03 / Friendship
A few months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine on Skype, after a while he said: 'I want water'. And I, unconsciously, as I had a bottle of water next to him, I said, 'Do you want water? Then drink water! ' And I poured water on the laptop. ADV
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7
Posted by hellupeach on Oct 21, 2017, 15:00 / spicy
Today, I went to my brother's room to ask if he was leaving at night or not. I opened the door a little and I saw someone in his bed. She was my best friend, and they told me that this is not the first time they have gone to bed. ADV
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6
Posted by ♂ chancletazo on Oct 21, 2014, 13:03 / ave
Today, I was at parties in my town, when I took my flip-flop to scratch my leg (because I was recording with the camera), when I went to put the foot, was not the flip, I stole it, A CHANCLA PUTA . ADV
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13
Posted by ♂ edevash on Oct 21, 2014, 13:01 / spicy
Yesterday, I bought a box of condoms because my girlfriend stayed to sleep in my apartment. I opened the box of twelve and took out 6 to store in a promotional box. My girlfriend has left urgently because a friend called her. There are 2 condoms left in the box. ADV
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fifteen
Posted by ♀ chanketa on Oct 21, 2014, 11:03 AM / Love
Today, I have realized that I am in love with my best friend. When I let him know, he rejected me. He says that he still loves me, but that he prefers the pleasure of revenge than I can give him. ADV
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6
Posted by ♀ bornyesterday on Oct 21, 2014, 11:01 AM / Job
Last week, at a work party, my boss's boyfriend (who was my classmate in college and friend since) caught a horrible fart, caught me by surprise and kissed me. We got caught in one of the photos of the night, which are on the company Facebook. Guess who does not renew the contract. ADV
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13
Posted by ♂ Ivi the nuns on Oct 21, 2017, 09:03 / several
Yesterday, I was sitting in a coffee shop when I felt like throwing myself a fart. The music was very loud, so I decided to throw it to the rhythm of the music so that no one could hear it. Suddenly, everyone stared at me. It was then that I remembered that I was listening to music on my iPod. ADV
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6
Posted by ♀ Anonymous on Oct 21, 2017, 09:01 / ave
Today, this morning, my driving school teacher did not give me practice at 9 am because I was "upset". He left yesterday for a party and he was afraid that he would get us a breathalyzer. ADV
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