I always enjoy your post, mainly (imho) because regardless of what you say, to me you are saying "I AM TRYING" and I will never surrender myself to the "Quitters Room !"
That my friend IS GOLDEN !!!
btw .. regarding listening ... please look up 'The Socratic Method" I think you will come to understand "soo much more"
As with any education Adults and especially children, why I so vehemently believe that "The question IS the answer"!
Seems as if all your post is a quest for understanding and seeking knowledge !
Love that about you !!!