What does it mean to start over at 34 year old?

in #life3 years ago (edited)

I followed all the rules of the game and I lost. I fell for the lies of a college career twice over as I earned a masters degree and am finding myself starting over at 34 years old. Don't get me wrong, however, this was my choice. I made so few choices on my own that I allowed my life to flow from circumstance to circumstance. I used to say that I was the "go with the flow" guy but really I was just so damn afraid to make a choice and chase a dream. I was absolutely terrified of anything that was outside of my immediate world.

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I had never lived outside of America until I chased a girl across the ocean. It didn't make any sense but it was the first choice I ever made on my own. I choose to fly across the world and take a stab at what life would be like to live in Italy away from all of my comforts. I enjoyed the first few months a lot with a giant sad point in the middle and an even sadder point at the end when I realized normality was almost back upon me. I remember almost every part of that year very vividly and I often thought it was because they were just so exciting but sometimes I just sat on the riverbanks and did nothing. So why do I remember that as vividly as the time I danced into a room of gold with my friends? It is because it was all new and most importantly it wasn't comfortable. Nothing I did that year was comfortable and that is what I miss the most in my normal life. Everything has become comfortable again and it is making me feel odd. I had a comfortable job and I quit it because I knew it was a waste of my time on earth to be standing in the mall all day. There is just not enough time for me to be doing that. I'm not saying that is a bad job by any means but I just can't see that being my best self and so I left.

When I left I had just found cryptocurrencies and it was an exciting time. The all time highs that coins were hitting on a daily basis made me feel like the smartest person in the entire world. I had made enough money to coast I thought for a long time and that is all I ever wanted, free time. To me being wealthy means that you have time. Most people trade their time for money on a daily basis at a job. I have worked hard jobs all of my life and they have all taught me valuable lessons that have led me to be the person I am today but my biggest frustration was how many awesome moments I missed because I had to be figuring out someones password or delivering them a tasty cocktail. I missed moment, after moment, after moment and I was absolutely fed up so I decided that I would use my imagination to create a new future for myself. I didn't have any clue how I would start that but I knew it was inside of me to create my own path in life. Not everyone is meant to walk in line.

I started recording myself while I was doing research on cryptocurrency and started putting it up on youtube. That idea came about after a night of acid with my buddy as we sat in my grandfathers garage, well mine now but anyways. We thought about what it meant to be wealthy and how we could achieve it. All I seemed to care about was time because that is the most valuable asset that we all have but none of us know how much of it we have. I decided as the colors in the room were dancing that I would call myself JSweeps and my show would be Coin Stories.

I am coming up on a 1 year anniversary with my show and it has been one of the best and most interesting things I have ever done with my life. So what does it mean to start over at 34 years old? Well it is scary as fuck! The only was it can be done is with the knowledge that you can't compare yourself to anyone else you come across. You can learn from your peers but you can't compare yourself to their accomplishments without driving yourself insane. We are all on different life journeys and we beat our own drum and you know the bullshit people would say to make you feel better but honestly, you can't compare yourself to others because that shit just doesn't matter. At all.

Knowing the path of life going forward is impossible but it surely is nice to look back and see how far you have gone. I am a huge fan of creating a visual journey of your life experience but make sure you put down the devices for those most special moments. I just sat on a cliff in Mexico and got splashed in the face while everyone else was recording me, I lived the moment. I experienced it like nobody else could have imagined via their video.

I will continue this next year documenting my travels and stories but I want people to follow me so they can be inspired to create their own vision and see it out.

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