Boredom

Where is it set in stone that men have to "take it"?

This was a comment posted on a video. I kept saying it in my mind. I kept working it over in my mind as I drove down an empty street on my way home.

it grew and grew and grew as i drove to the end street down a hill...

We have plenty of food, air, and sunshine. We could really just go out and buy a hooker or a real doll or look at a porn video if we wanted. We could play video games all day long. And we could smoke weed or take any number of mind numbing drugs to address the boredom and loneliness..

Nothing is really crumbling around us. The buildings outside don't look any different.. it was sunny earlier today.. people were moving.. cars were moving.. things looked like they belonged in their positions. McDonald's belonged there and grass belonged there and houses belonged there and supermarkets belonged there and bus stops belonged there. I saw no bombs or gangs or warning signs of impending danger. I didn't even lock my door when I left... I felt absolutely nothing.

But nothing is what gnaws at me the most--at night, at home, in the pool, at work, in the park, at the beach, on a mountain. it's the entire roar of nothing at all. The loudest sound in my ears at any moment of the day.

...But all the crumbling is seen in the cracks in the dam holding back the unmeasured waters of frustration teeming within the minds of countless invisible men.. within every illegal kiddie porn pic on 4chan, I see frustration... in every act of vengeance in a schoolyard, I see frustration... in every porn site, in every wall-to-wall index of categorized sexual proclivities, I see frustration.. in every bottle of lotion, in every tissue box, I see frustration.. in every neutered college classroom, I see frustration.. in every Nice Guy's gesture, I see frustration.. in every video game forum, I see frustration.. in every undisciplined, rash decision, I see frustration.. in every apathetic attitude, I see frustration.. in every anxious thought and neurotic perspective, I see frustration.. in every cat owned, in every real doll purchased, on every facebook wall stared at, I see frustration.. in every insomniac, in every rap lyric, in every "reality" tv show, I see frustration.. in every dating site, in every talk show, in every divorce, even in every marriage, I see frustration... in every serial killer, in every factory worker whose job has been specialized down to pushing one button, in every plastic product, in every stripped piece of urbanized land, I see frustration.. in every political scandal, in every hippie vowing to care for the planet, in every charity, in every meme, in every troll, in every clueless parent, I see frustration.. in every new movie with a bigger budget and a bigger explosion, in every commercial grinding men down into helpless boys, I see frustration.. in every rape and every rejection, I see frustration.. in every MMA event, in every backyard fighting video, in every internet tough guy, I see frustration.. like a small bug, biting and sucking away at the insides of a gigantic body, drop by drop, without even being noticed..

it feels like one giant equation on a white board that I’ve solved just by glancing at it. How can it be so complex and yet look so simple? How can it be this clear and yet so hidden? is it all a dream or are people so heavily invested in this gigantic social lie that to finally tell the truth would be the equivalent of pulling the plug of a dying family member depending on the artificial life support system of denial?.... Is expectant death of social deception really this close or am I really this blind?... how can something make so much sense to people who wish to avoid the heavy price of making sense? How much heavier than closed eyelids is the weight of opening them? What is the surface pressure per square inch of responsibility? Is it worse than the bottom of the ocean? Do we really need gills and a thick dose of imagination to bear it?

..... People just wake up. They brush their teeth. They go to work. They come home.... and they die.

And in between the going and coming is a war with growth. Nobody wants to make the first move when growth can do nothing but move. Nobody wants to change when change is inevitable. Nobody wants to ask why the fuck life is boobytrapped with requirements and invisible forces that never rest at causing you unrest.