I just woke up and then I opened our Gensan community group chat. Then I discovered they have another group chat/group where they shared chats/picture etc.. I knew from the start that these newbies came from the same company so they can opt me out from the group. But before, they have me included because I am a family of some member and it was led by a family as well. I thought it goes well. Then they had another meeting yesterday to discuss more about steemit. Of course I cannot come because the scheduled time is by 5pm so obviously it'll end late night. I have two kids so it's not a convenient schedule for me and besides I am not invited! But it's fine as I knew it was headed by my brother and I thought it's just fine that I cannot come. But then this happens.. **I don't belong anymore.. **
I must admit I don't really belong if they will bear their company's name but knowing they bear the Gensan Community which I belong it hurts me much. I don't want to drop names because I don't want to create issue here at steemit but I just want to open my feeling of hurt and betrayal. If only there is another group here in our place to join, I would! I cannot insist to be a part to people who doesn't need my help and presence!

** Today marks my 5th month here at steemit.
I have lived on my own..
I was a steemian on my own, without any group...
I could be on my own..
Maybe it's just a test of me being a steemian to face this feeling and my willingness to stay. I may not have a group whom I can chat about this platform but still I am here to grow. To think I have grown better without this group before so I can be better than what I am now.. **

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>** Thanks God I have you to enlighten and clear my negative thoughts. You know I'm hurting and you're always there for me.. Please guide me as always because I can do nothing without you in me... **

Thank you dear Lord!