It is the simple question of whether I can handle everything that's going on.

I have been clogging my schedule with a lot of things this month/year. And I do sound like a little bitch while complaining about having a lot of stuff to do, but it's actually slightly driving me insane as to how much things I do in one week. And it is not even a matter of the fact that I just want to do all those things, but also the thing that I need to do them in order to stay sane.

I have been focusing a lot more on school this semester, which is great! I have gone to more classes than I did last semester, I have been writing hand-written notes (which is a much better way of learning for me) and I have been putting my phone and laptop away in most classes in order to keep my focus. And I really do feel that I have achieved something for the greater good. I have been putting a lot of work into who I want to be in the future.

I am the leader of marketing and communications in AIESEC in Tartu (which is my home town). I have done so many cool things during that time. I have made a lot of good designs (and learned about what's shit and what's not), I have been meeting a lot of new people, who all can easily develop into magical people in the future, if they have already not done that.

I finally found a new job! I was sacked from the last place because the place essentially went bankrupt. Not because of me, I did everything I could to keep that place going as well as it can, but it just wasn't something I could disconfirm. I hope that this new job will develop me as a human being, as a marketer and also a person, who just wants to change the world.

And yet I have forgotten what is actually important.

I have stopped looking at beautiful sunrises and sunsets with the look I did before. Now they are just there, they go where they please and they rarely make an impression on me. I have to fix that. I want to look at sunsets and listen to good music and not have anything to do again. I want to free myself from the chains of chores. I want to love like I have never loved before. It is not only me who needs attention, it is the people around me and the people closest to me. It seems that I have forgotten what is actually important and what is semi-important. I will fix this. Everything will turn out great and I will look at sunsets the same way I did before, I will love the people around me the same way I did before and I will make it all work. I always do.