The peacock effect and how I started a Blog

This blog post is based on my own personal experience and what I call ''the peacock effect''.

The peacock in many cultures and traditions symbolizes integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors. http://www.whats-your-sign.com/peacock-symbolism.html

For me, the ''peacock effect'' is the acknowledgment that no matter how many struggles I go through, I can always experience rebirth and renewal. As a reminder of that, I had a peacock tattooed on my lower back, although sometimes I tend to forget the meaning of it…

Peacock fun fact: "The Peacock has been linked to Kuan Yin and it is this deity that is supposedly the creator of the beautiful colors of the Peacock’s signature tail feathers. Legend tells us Kuan Yin could have been immortal but stayed because she wished to aid humanity in their spiritual evolution." http://www.mindbodyspirit-online.com/peacock

The year 2017 started off a bit bleh…my partner and I had been trying to conceive a child for several months without success and I had a boring job back then as a legal assistant in a small law firm. With hopes of one day becoming a Canadian immigration consultant, I started a part-time university certificate online. That kept me busy on evenings and weekends, the courses were actually very interesting.

Half-way through winter, my immigration lawyer boss asked me to create a blog post on his website. I guess he liked the way I wrote since he had me write around 3 to 5 weekly immigration-related blog posts. As immigration files took up less and less of my time, blogging became my main day-to-day task. As much as I enjoyed the blogging part of my job as a legal assistant, I was definitely drifting away from my main purpose of gathering work experience in the immigration field.

So I started to look for another job and after a couple of interviews, I landed a job in a senior position as an immigration paralegal at a huge corporation at the end of May. I was hyped! After months of bore-out and unsuccessful fertility, I felt ''proud as a peacock''.

Peacock fun fact: Like anything, it’s easy to get caught up in the good and risk taking it too far. As the peacock guides you to embrace self-love and confidence, don’t allow yourself to become arrogant, vain, or unapproachable. Maintaining a delicate balance of confidence and humility is the key.

Unfortunately, that dream job turned out to be a living nightmare. I was given so much responsibility, that I decided to stall my studies till I felt ready enough to handle the job. That day never came and as the weeks passed I felt a lot of pressure without the proper training and tools to perform as expected. As the days went by, the more and more miserable I became and the less ''peacock proudness'' I felt. I was constantly blaming myself and feeling guilty of everything that went wrong. Every day my boss would give me at least one negative comment and I never received any positive feedback at all. Those proud peacock feathers were plucking off and I was feeling in despair.

Miraculously, I got pregnant in September under all that stress! I had mixed feelings of happiness and agony. How was the heck I supposed to go through 9 months of stressful work in such a negative environment? How was my baby going to survive? And then a second miracle happened, I got fired in November. Life works in mysterious ways right? But I did not see it like that when I got fired, oh no, that peacock proudness got hit badly and my ego was suffering. With all the effort I gave, how come I was not good enough to keep the job? I spiraled down with feelings of guilt and fear of the upcoming. I had to find the way to recover faith through this obstacle.

''When you choose to see your obstacles as detours in the right direction, you can begin to find a deeper meaning and personal growth amid the discomfort.'' Gabrielle Bernstein

As for my financial situation, I decided to opt for employment insurance during the rest of my pregnancy till my one year maternity leave (I am so grateful to live in a country like Canada!) However, I did not want to spend the next 6 months as a couch potato, so I started to think about how I could occupy myself. Questions kept popping in my head and I was feeling lost. What if working in immigration and becoming a consultant was not my dream career anymore? After 3 frustrating job experiences in that field, I was starting to think that it might not be the right career for me. But what was I going to do?! I had to dig deep into myself and find a way to reconnect with the peacock guidance and experience the "peacock effect" Thus, I began meditating again.

Now, you don't just experience the ''peacock effect'' the minute you start meditating and see a difficult experience turn into a meaningful lesson overnight. I mean it takes courage, discipline and definitely a lot of support from loved ones. This makes me think, we humans underestimate the power of social relationships when experiencing darkness and we tend to forget that we are social animals. Besides, normally someone (a close friend or family member) communicates the benefits before you start meditating. They have influence over you and help motivating you to do it.

Meditating is like the light of a candle in the complete darkness.

Nevertheless, it takes more than a candle to ignite faith and vision to feel the peacock effect and get out of the dark. I firmly believe that meditation ignites your inner light, clears your mind and may help construct positive outcomes. However, we all need at least someone that holds the candle from time to time. As an example, the Buddhist monks can meditate all on their own, but they too have guidance from more experienced monks. We all need the occasional friendly ear and motivational speech to properly guide us.

After a couple of meditations sessions, conversations with my partner and some very valuable friends, I realized it was time to let go of the fear and welcome faith. I decided to change my perception of how losing my dream job was a bummer and started to see it as a blessing for me and my baby. To be quite honest, I knew deep down that it was a blessing to lose that job since such pressure could have placed my baby in danger. This makes me think, people always say ''Oh you know, those things happen for a reason'' for example when you get into an accident, lose your job or your partner leaves you. However, like many things in life, it is easy to say that, especially if you are not experiencing it yourself. Actually accepting and perceiving the positive outcome is a whole other challenge, it requires what I call the peacock effect. About a month after getting fired, I got up one morning and was finally willing to accept my new reality. That was when I started to focus on all the little things that make me happy. I needed new projects.

Personal note: Having projects helps fight anxiety and loneliness on the pathway to heal.

My loving partner gave me a great new idea. Creating a Blog!

Remember how I talked about the blog posts I wrote at my old job? Well, I realized writing is something I actually enjoy doing very much but I’ve always postponed the project for later because of lack of time and motivation. My partner reminded me that I might actually have talent in writing and it was the perfect timing to do so!

Peacock fun fact: The peacock reflects the magic of ''perfect timing'', giving a sense of freedom to pursue our dreams without unrealistic expectations. Knowing that what you need and you desire in life all show up at the right time, when you are ready. Even if you think you're not!

Like anything in life, it takes time to build a Blog and especially a good one. It takes discipline to accomplish everything, no matter what. For now, I’ll be publishing in this awesome steemit community and eventually will create my Blog-website that I will share with you. In order to be more productive (organize freak that I am), here is my daily morning routine that I would like to share with you, maybe it can be an inspiration to you!

Morning Routine:

• Eat healthy breakfast
• Choose and write down 3 important tasks for the day
• While having coffee, read emails, news, and social media within an hour max
• Yoga and meditation
• Refreshing shower
• Draft Blog post, updating or editing
• Have lunch
• Tackle tasks by priority!

After a couple of weeks following this routine, I have gathered different ideas for the Blog. I realize that I have many interests and have decided to share my personal experiences and advice with you. Exploring a number of tools and courses related to blogging, I am enjoying every part of it and that little token of happiness each day is what really counts.

I have come to realize that the wisdom behind what I call the peacock effect begins with self-love, integrity and the importance of facing life’s challenges as well as the unknown with courage and confidence. I hope this information on the symbolic meaning of peacocks and my personal experience may help you on your path through life’s journey. Stay tuned for my next blog post!