Living a happy life on your own terms - No one can make you feel inferior without your permission

Motivation and inspiration can come from anywhere. I have a tendancy to find it in some out-of-the-ordinary places. While a wonderful author, Sherrilyn Kenyon doesn't exactly write eductional books, more along the lines of mythology based romances. During my reading of her book, Acheron, I came across this passage that resonated deeply with me. I won't give you a full work-up on the book, but just to give you an idea, its a series about fiction and Greek mythology. Acheron is a god that was named after a river in mythology meaning "river of woe", which is pretty much how his life had proceeded.

Although I don't have confirmation, I believe that Acheron's soliloquy may be based on Eleanor Roosevelt's quote from This is My Story:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

In her work, Kenyon delves deeper into how to handle those people that think they can drive your feelings and emotions. Reading this on a regular basis brings me back center when I feel like people are out to bring me down, when I don't understand why they have to discourage me at every turn.

No one can ever make you feel inferior without your permission. Don't give it to them. Realize that it's their own insecurities that make them attack you and others. They're so unhappy with themselves that the only way they can feel better is by making everyone as unhappy as they are. Don't let those people steal your day.
You hold your head high and know that you have the one thing they can never take away from you. The love of your family and true friends. Your own self-respect and sense of purpose. Always hold your head up and follow your dreams wherever they take you. Don't ever listen to the people out to hurt you or make you cry. Listen to your heart and be better than them. No one gets ahead by hurting others. The only real peace anyone will ever have is the one that comes from within.
Live your life on your own terms and make it a happy life. Always.

~ Acheron, excerpt from Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon

During my lifetime, I have had a crazy combination of people travel in and out of my existence. There have been relationships that ended well and we are still friends after twenty plus years, and others where I don't and will never speak to them again. Friends are hard to come by. I don't mean acquaintences, I'm speaking of true friends.
I've found that as I get older, true friends are really a rarity. Everyone seems to be out for themselves and its just a matter of time before their true colors show. In the past decade, I've experienced this more than once unfortunately.

Years ago, I was an attorney. I don't speak of it much, the whole situation sent me into a depression. I had an employee that was also my best friend. Well, we were co-workers first and then became friends. Our families did everything together. Even had babies just a couple days apart from each other. Long story short, she was filching money from the firm and my accounts and I didn't know enough at the time to see what she was up to. Instead of taking responsibility, she put it on me, lied to save her life and I got sent away for some time. Because of her I missed years of my children's lives and have to deal with the repercussions on a daily basis in numerous ways. Great friend. Lesson learned, right?

A couple of years ago, another friend that I had known for years helped me out with a couple issues involving my kids and my ex. She didn't like who I was dating at the time, actually she was jealous when I spent time with him rather than her. You know how it goes with a new relationship... So, come the day of my divorce trial and who shows up as a witness for my ex. Yep, you guessed it. My "friend." She had stopped talking to me a little while before that but it was still quite a surprise when she showed up. Well, karma is a bitch. She sat there and testified that I shouldn't be able to see my kids at all. This was after my ex already testified that I am fine with my girls, no problems, no danger, and all that. So she is sitting there sounding like pure jealousy and when I start questioning her (pro se) and breaking down her lies, she has a heart attack! Her pacemaker starts going off and so does her internal fibrilator, shocking her several times. Now I am not normally a mean person, but damn, did she show her colors and look what she got for it. Not that its funny, but in restropect it kind of is (she lived), the baliff cleared the courtroom and then called me back in because I was the only one that knew what was going on with her. I had to tell them not to bring in the defib machine, it would kill her. She actually said for me not to touch her because she didn't want to hurt me with the shocks she was getting. Ironic isn't it. BTW, I got shared custody with my girls, because I fought for them, even when others said I wasn't good enough and the world seemed to be crashing down around me. Fight for what you believe in!

I have whiddled my circle around me down to just a couple of people. The people that stick by me, even when they're annoyed at me or what have you, especially my mom. She's always there for me for moral support, through thick and thin. Family is important, not to say some family members that are toxic to your life and livelyhood need to be kept at arms's length. But they're still family. I have one good friend at the moment, we spend a decent amount of time together. She doesn't have many friends in the area either. We just kind of clicked. Even though I've had some bad experiences in the past with "friends" (or "fiends"), I think I've found a keeper. I really hope that I have learned my lesson and become more adept at reading people. Its hard going through life with no one to talk to just because pretty much everyone you know has broken your trust.

Talk about through thick and thin, its only been a year and a half, but what my boyfriend and I have been through is more than enough for some people in a lifetime. But we're making it work. You know why? We support each other. We talk things through. We apologize. Yes, his opinions count to me. Sometimes we hurt each other, it happens. Life happens. But those are the times when I realize that I have to pull myself up by my bootstraps and carry on. Even though we are there for each other, I am the only one that can truly keep myself moving. All the support in the world from other people doesn't mean anything without self-motivation. If I can't make myself want to do something...get up in the morning and work on order, write on here, clean the house, whatever....all the pushing someone else wants to do for me is meaningless if I don't push myself from inside.
I love that last time especially:

Live your life on your own terms and make it a happy life. Always.

I have to live my life for the time being with the inclusion of other people's terms, its one of those daily repercussions I spoke of earlier. But I've learned to incorporate them without letting them dictate my happiness. I have my own terms that I live by every day, and they just happen to work within the system in which I'm stuck.

On a regular basis I sit back and say to myself, am I happy with the way things are going? Do I need to change anything to make it better? What can I change? Life is not static, it changes from moment to moment. The moment you are in now...it is now the past. Learn from it. Don't dwell on it, make changes where changes are needed. Be flexible. Don't let others drag you into their misery just because they want company. Live a happy life.